It’s bad enough that this is a movie. Or even a book, for that matter. “Twilight” has already sucked enough life out of pop culture; let’s keep Edward and Bella in as few incarnations as possible, please.

1. “McLeod/Hysen”

The thrilling tale of an Undergraduate Council election gone wrong, “McLeod/Hysen” would have all the political drama of the 2006 play “Frost/Nixon” with none of the real-world importance. The Election Commission could sing a power anthem such as “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from “Les Misérables,” while UC Vice President Kia J. McLeod ’10 might perform a heartfelt rendition of “On My Own.” It would close after opening night because, really, nobody cares.

—Ali R. Leskowitz ’11 is an incoming Campus Arts editor. She was not cast as a Munchkin in “The Wizard of Oz” in middle school, crushing her dreams of Broadway stardom forever.

HIGHER ORDER PROCRASTINATION TECHNIQUES LEARNED IN 2009

The reading period that begins today is the shortest in recent memory, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be wasting any less time lurking on Gchat, perusing your favorite blogs, stalking your section crush on Facebook, or watching whole seasons of TV shows on DVD. In the interest of enlivening your procrastination routine, it’s important to periodically discover new and more mindless diversions. So the next time you’re enduring the agonizing 72 minutes before you can treat yourself to more Megavideo, try a few of these on for size:

5. Unearthing your old Livejournal or Xanga account

Nothing is more heartwarming and humiliating than rediscovering a time when your most pressing problems were being grounded for the weekend and not getting tickets to the Bright Eyes concert.

4. Typing tests

While not quite as fun as the elementary school programs on which you first learned to type (I’m lookin’ at you, Mario Teaches Typing), online typing tests are surprisingly addictive. As you near a landmark personal record (mine is 100 words per minute), the drive only increases. This is also the only item on the list that could conceivably aid you in your schoolwork.

3. Thinking of famous people who resemble your friends

Did you know that members of the Arts board resemble Frank O’Hara, Bud Cort in “Harold and Maude,” and young Bob Dylan? Try to guess which ones!

2. Using the Search by Concentration feature on Harvard College Facebook to find the most and least attractive majors.

Though fairly self-explanatory, this one can have some unexpected results. Now that the new sophomores have declared their concentrations, who knows what field of study is dreamiest! Try not to let the Image-Not-Available’s get you down. Those people are the worst.

1. The Hollywood Hair Virtual Makeover on Instyle.com