Good News: More target practice for Sarah Palin!

1. Global Warming

Bad News: This one might actually happen.

Good News: Hopefully, with the help of energy-saving light bulbs and vegetarian followers of Jonathon Safran-Foer, we can hold it off until we’ve invented cute robots like Wall-E who will eventually help us repopulate our destitute planet.

—Rachel A. Burns is the incoming Books Editor. She likes happy endings.

TOP EIGHT THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE DIED THIS YEAR INSTEAD OF MICHAEL JACKSON (SORRY, TOO SOON?)

1. Megavideo Bans

While I acknowledge that most of my productivity occurs during the 56 minute Megavideo bans, I still can’t get over how annoying it is.

2. Farmville

Really? How old are we?

3. Vampires

Okay I know they are already dead, but I’m pretty sure there is still a way.

4. Kanye West’s Ego

Not only is he annoying, but now I’m forced to endure endless strings of “Imma let you finish” jokes.

5. Snuggies