3. There are weapons of mass destruction

Still waiting, Bush...

2. Miss South Carolina was just nervous.

No, she was just stupid.

1. Sarah Palin is qualified for office

Explaining why Alaska’s proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, she said in an interview with CBS, “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where—where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” Thanks Sarah.

—Ama R. Francis is the outgoing Covers Editor. She’ll cover for you.

FOUR TERRIBLE MOVIES MADE BY GREAT DIRECTORS

Anyone who spent their hard-earned money to see director Ron Howard’s “Angels And Demons” this past summer knows too well that even acclaimed directors can produce worthless trash from time to time. Here is a list of the top terrible movies made by usually great directors.

4. Piranha II: The Spawning (1981) - Dir. James Cameron

The vast majority of filmgoers flocking to theaters this winter to experience the promised eye-raping of “Avatar” likely have not experienced the utter shittiness of James Cameron’s feature-length directorial debut, the delightfully ridiculous horror sequel “Piranha II: The Spawning.” For just a taste of the madness, head to Wikipedia and check out the film’s Italian poster. Yep, those are flying predatory fish chasing down voluptuous beachgoers.

3. Caché (2005) - Dir. Michael Haneke

Many critics hailed French-language film “Caché” as a masterpiece of suspense cinema—a still from the film of Juliette Binoche and her onscreen husband Daniel Auteuil lovingly adorns the textbook foisted on all students taking Visual and Environmental Studies 70: “The Art of Film.” I have a theory, however, that those who praised the movie were simply trying to mask their incomprehension at the never-ending shots of the same nondescript house. Not that it’s their fault; it’s debatable whether there’s anything in the film that can be understood. Haneke’s pretension works in many of his other films, most notably his remake of “Funny Games,” but “Caché” is the worst example of indulgent art for art’s sake.

2. Panic Room (2002) - Dir. David Fincher

When a film’s opening credits are its sole distinctive feature, the movie can’t be all that great. Directly following his masterful cult classic, “Fight Club,” Fincher’s fifth feature was more disappointing than even his ill-fated “Alien 3.” While trailers promised a tense and harrowing thriller, viewers were instead treated to a pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart hyperventilating alongside a whiny Jared Leto with a gun in hand.