The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Flyby Laments: Border Cafe

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{shortcode-299358d55501f60e8fd3e948512020bf0a5fedd2}As many of us packed up all of our belongings and left Cambridge last March, there were plenty of things to say goodbye to — the warm spot by Canaday, our favorite House pooch, and literally anyone from the class of 2020 (rip). Yet, little did we know we’d also be saying goodbye to some iconic establishments in the Square: from Café Pamplona to Parsnip to Legal Sea Foods, it seems no restaurant was safe from Covid’s path. But this time, it’s personal. Border Cafe has been the unofficial second home of Flyby Blog for years, hosting many a margarita-filled gathering of bloggers. When the restaurant closed its doors for the first time due to a two-alarm fire, we were heartbroken. As it shutters its doors for the final time due to the long pandemic, we’re damn near inconsolable. Oh Border, you will be missed. This is our final love letter to you, dear. Gone, but never forgotten.

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Felipe’s this, Jefe’s that — Border, you were always in a league of your own. The only way to express the absolute desolation of losing Border is through the classic emoticon of jaded acceptance, :/. I’ll miss getting full on chips and salsa before even ordering, and all the laughter and love that came with Border Blog gatherings. Thanks for the mems, baby.

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—Peyton A. Jones ’22

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How do you write a love letter to a soulmate you never met and will never get to meet? Border, I’ll be honest. I’m hurt. I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked past you and then decided I’m feeling in the mood for something else, only to settle for dhall food. To be fair, I thought we had years left to finally get acquainted. Sigh. Maybe at another location or in another life. I guess I was just waiting for the perfect occasion — the best guacamole in the Square deserves nothing less.

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—Janani Sekar ’23

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Oh Border Cafe…How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth of each bowl of queso, to the breadth of each fajita, to the height of each endless chip basket. Your Cajun Favorites made Harvard Square feel a little more like home, and I’ll search high and low for somewhere that can provide me with both crawfish etouffee AND chips and queso without breaking a sweat. Maybe someday I’ll take a drive to Saugus and we can be together again — until then, I’ll get by with a Felipe’s burrito and nostalgic smile in your direction.

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—Rachel L. Reynolds ’22

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This is not the way it was supposed to happen. Harvard reunions for years were supposed to feature Border frozen margs and loaded-with-goodness quesadillas. The pandemic took senior spring and commencement from me — but this is the last damn straw. All I can do is remember the good times we had, Border, and wish the best for your employees and your Saugus location. We’re always together in my heart.

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—Stuti R. Telidevara ’20

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Dear Border Cafe, I actually didn’t know about you until I heard about the news that you permanently closed down...considering you closed down the first time before I even knew I had been accepted to Harvard. So tbh, I’m not really devastated. But know that you’ll be missed (by the upperclassmen).

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—Alexandria T. Q. Ho ’24

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Devastating is our loss. I had heard legends of the frozen margs, and was so excited to have finally turned 21 and get to experience one for myself. Border, you were the host of many boisterous dinners featuring great food and great company. Thank you for always making vegan adjustments when I asked. May your spirit live on in the hearts and stomachs of Harvard students forever.

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— Rocket Claman ’21

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Ah, Border. Though we only met once in this lifetime, I still dream of you, your ~moist~ beef fajitas, and your warm-but-not-scalding-and-did-we-mention-free tortilla chips. But you know what they say: of fire did these culinary delights start, and unto fire shalt they return. Border dared to soar above every other institution in the Square, but alas, the legendary café flew too close to the sun on wings of guacamole. May your heaven contain frozen margs and all the sides you can possibly imagine.

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— Ellen S. Deng ’23

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Border didn’t take reservations because it didn’t have to. How I yearn for the evenings when I waited to be seated, perched on the edge of the front wooden bench, gazing longingly at the baskets of hot chips on tables before me, glancing plaintively at the host stand, my ears perking at the crackle of sizzling fajitas and finally, at the reassuring vibration of the Border buzzer. The hour then came for revelry and gluttony. It’s also no exaggeration to say that Border got me through the fall 2016 HUDS workers strike, where I could gorge myself several nights a week on Border’s cheap and filling eats (one could craft a whole meal out of 99-cent sides), with the added benefit of not being a scab. The queso was top tier. Even the Border water, served in tall plastic cups with the perfect amount of ice, was superior. Imy Border bb.

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—Lydia L. Cawley ’20

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As soon as we get more than one competent driver on the Blog (thanks, Hannah J. Humes!), we’ll come visit one of your other locations, we promise. Till then, old friend <3

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Xoxo,

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Flyby

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Five Zoom Features That Should Definitely Exist

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{shortcode-3565d8d57f059d4c67bb024bdb65b7e4e105a7d1}Remember how Zoom updated back in September to allow participants to self-select into and move between breakout rooms? If that timeline sounds off, it’s because no one actually updated their Zoom until months after the update came out. So, you probably only remember the awkward few months where professors would manually place the technologically-challenged stragglers into breakout rooms themselves. Anyways, that update was a bust, except maybe for a few eager TFs.

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And then the platform followed up by gifting us with filters to place sprouts on our heads? Not going to front, the sunglasses filter has its moments. But let’s be real, Zoom is ignoring the features that would actually be life-changing, and I guess I can help them out.

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Automatic Popcorn-Call

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It seems like everybody has deemed icebreakers necessary to distract from the next hour(s) of one person droning on about ~insert here~ that really could have been condensed into an email. There’s only one thing I dread more than Two Truths and a Lie, and that’s coming up with a random person to go next. Zoom, please fix this, and make a button that “popcorns” between every person in the room until everyone has gone. You can even unmute people when it’s their turn to make it extra fancy. Even the cold-hearted professors who like to cold call could make use of this tool.

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Tell Us How Many People Are in the Zoom Before We Join

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You know you’re late to adding a feature when even Google Meet has done it.

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Locked Mute

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There are some meetings where it’s more of a “be seen and not heard” sort of deal, and having the option to accidentally press the spacebar is dangerous. Please save me from this constant fear.

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Ability to Direct Your Cameras to Only the Host

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I’m not entirely sure how this mechanism would work (clearly not a future software engineer here), or for how many circumstances this would be helpful. But imagine this: you turn on your camera, and only your professor (who requires all cameras to be on despite there being a couple hundred people in the Zoom) can see you. No one is creepily pinning you their screen anymore. Plus, for smaller sections, if you need to use the restroom, you won’t be subtly broadcasting it to your whole class.

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Zoom Breakout Room Timer Needs to be Much Larger

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Like, much larger. And flashing. Preferably in neon letters. Because it seems the people you get placed with in breakout rooms either can’t catch a clue that it’s time to wrap up, or they decide to not unmute from the start. And in that latter case, I just need a giant countdown of when I can be freed from the swallowing silence. Give me something to look forward to because it’s not the main room where, of course, I’ll get called on to share with the class what we discussed 🙃.

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How To: Actually Dress Warm For Cambridge Weather

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{shortcode-1cd501adf9fcc291df3f1a32ad3e97ac9135e816}If you’re an out-of-state student, starting your new Harvard life is exciting for a lot of reasons. New friends, new experiences, new traditions…and of course: new weather. If you’re like me and you hail from a place that hasn’t seen snow since the last Ice Age, fear not, for my brief time on campus before Covid-19 has taught me a bit about what it means to live in a city where the weather literally wants to kill you.

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Your High-Top Converse are NOT Snowshoes

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You know those go-to sneakers you count on for most occasions? The scuffed-up Converse, the crusty AF1s, or the Vans with the huge hole in the toe area...you know the ones. Yeah, those won’t work. If you hate wet socks as much as I do, you’ll invest in a solid pair of boots that’ll get you through anything, from a foot-deep puddle to a romp in the snow with your roomies.

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Your Current Jacket is Inadequate

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Back home, I had one trusty jacket that would get me through the coldest days of Los Angeles winters (mid 50s Fahrenheit). When I got to Cambridge, I thought, “This jacket will be fine, right?” It was not fine. My trusty jacket could barely get me through a day in autumn. And rain? Forget about it. Bottom line: Invest in a weatherproof coat. They’re more expensive than your average outerwear, but you’ll only need one – plus, it’ll last your entire college career.

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What is Canada Goose?

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If you’re on campus already, you might have noticed that some students carry themselves through the cold with a certain confidence. Maybe you noticed their trendy parkas: the ones with the red, blue, and white circular logo. This is the mark of Canada Goose, the stylishly expensive outerwear brand that you’ll see many students sporting during your time at Harvard. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have one. The geese thank you for it.

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Accessorizing is Mandatory

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Back in your hometown, I’m sure you rarely, if ever, thought of body parts like your neck or fingers or ears as needing special weather protection. Now is the time to give them some love, so your fingers don’t turn blue and your ears don’t fall off. Invest in gloves and headgear! Get a scarf! It’s about more than just a fashion statement — it’s about SURVIVAL.

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Onions have Layers, Ogres have Layers, Winter Clothes have Layers

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While you’re reinventing yourself in college, it may be tempting to dress to impress. But come below-freezing temperatures, it’s better to walk into class looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy than to catch hypothermia on your way there. Dress in layers! Think thermal underwear, leggings, and multiple pairs of warm socks.

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If I’ve worried you, don’t fret! You’ll likely survive this winter, either because you’ve done your research and come prepared, or because your roommates will take pity on you and lend you some hand-me-downs. Sure, you won’t always be able to walk around in a t-shirt and shorts, but it’ll all be worth it when, in the dead of winter, you see the look on your snowman’s face and get that warm feeling inside.

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Five Reasons Why I’m Still Single After Datamatch

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{shortcode-ae97c7f088eb9fa767784af5b25c773834f2d4e7}Every Valentine’s Day, the Harvard masses wake up to the most highly anticipated email of the year: “Your matches are ready.” The suspense crushes us as we open our account to find what the Supreme Cupids have made of our scientific survey choices. Then we see our matches… and for the *unfortunate* (read: me and you) the list of matches crushes us too. See if your worst Datamatches can top these five!

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That match who helped you find your phone when you lost it at Visitas

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Small details. They probably don’t remember. But I do. I remember Visitas. I remember that awkward breakout room. In addition to all our mutual friends and overlapping affinity spaces. I can’t get away. When I signed up for MIT’s Aphrodite, I didn’t plan on getting matched with someone at Harvard — especially not someone I already knew. Lesson learned: don’t cheat on Datamatch.

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That match that’s your best friend’s blockmate

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Maybe this one shouldn’t be so bad. But knowing the inner workings of their blocking group dynamic feels like you’ve breached boundaries. You know them. You’ve hung out with them. You know you don’t vibe, but Datamatch thinks you do. Apparently your similar taste in One Direction boys was enough for them to be on the list, but not high enough for a free meal. Tough.

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That freshman who is ~persistent~

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For upperclassmen, this one is self-explanatory. For all the 2024’s let me spell it out: Open your match. Read the class year. If it’s not 2024, forget it. You’re barely (or not even) 18. If you matched with an upperclassman, don’t stalk our insta and try to slide into the DM’s (dude, if you’re reading this, please stop). For your own sake, the best answer an upperclassman can give you is “pass 😪” and the worst is “yes 😳".

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That match that’s your friend’s ex

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Do I even have to explain this one? The game plan for this one went something like this: screenshot, text, laugh-react, and ignore. If you happen to be the ~spicy~ type and want to go for it, just know there’s going to be some serious bro code group chats in your future — good luck.

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That #1 friend-match that apparently doesn’t want a free meal

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Yeah. This hurt. It’s literally free food. Call me narcissistic (please don’t), but is 45 minutes with me too much to handle for free boba? I can’t be that bad. Maybe I should’ve unlinked my Spotify? I knew Shawn Mendes was a red flag…

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Anyway, here’s to hoping next year goes any better — and, dear Cupids, please find me someone new to simp over.

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Dude That’s Rude: Having Basic Expectations of Your Students

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{shortcode-4fccd43ad56ed47e6b4e99841813c02f0c38524f}We are in the middle of a panorama. A Panera Bread. A panopticon. I haven’t left my room for more than a total of 20 minutes in the past 96 hours. I have seen another person’s full face twice in person in the month of February. For these reasons, it seems rude that professors continue to have basic expectations of me. Also, I’m tired.

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“Do the Readings”

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I enrolled in your course because I was genuinely interested in the material. Mostly. For some of y’all, I did just sign up for your course because it met a requirement, though I promise I’m still kind of interested! But asking me to read? In this economy? When I have nothing else to do but watch the downfall of our democracy and make TikToks? RUDE. I tried. I really did. I have had no willpower to read a single word for a single class this entire semester. Not even when all my classes were shiny and new, and certainly not now.

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“Have Thoughts”

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This one’s obviously rude. I’ve been no thoughts, head empty for most of my time on Earth, but any final brain cells that were clinging to life were swept away with my tears and all my Olympia storage belongings into a black hole somewhere around mid-March 2020.

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“Show Up to Class”

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The only reason I can force myself to do any reading is because of the severe anxiety I get when I’m in class and haven’t even opened, let alone read, any of the PDFs, and the professor’s getting ready to cold-call people. (Which is its own ‘Dude, That’s Rude,’ but I digress.) The only thing that drives me to get food, a basic human need, is the hope for some kind of human interaction and the desire not to get kicked out of student housing because I haven’t left my room to turn in my latest Covid test. That’s where I’m at. And you want me to sit somewhere other than my bed, find your Zoom link, turn my camera on, and listen? Or even *gasp* take notes?

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“Turn in Assignments”

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Time does not exist right now. I barely have any conception of when the day turns to night and then back to day again, especially with the constant cloud cover and the blinding blue light that haunts my waking hours and my dreams. Even if I wanted to write an essay (which I never do), I literally do not have the brain capacity to remember a due date or to remember to write down a due date.

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“Try to Care”

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I am trying. And it’s exhausting. Do you know how hard it is to care about something someone said 50 years ago when I’m going to be 50 years old before I get to celebrate my 21st birthday and wear a Birthday Girl crown at a club?

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Professors, you’ve put the bar on the floor, and that’s still too high.

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TikTok Powerpoint Night Inspo: Harvard Edition

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{shortcode-892ef5871f2c9150ab9f040d04acefe95054777d}If you’ve ever spent even a second on TikTok, you’re already familiar with the PowerPoint trend, where you and a bunch of friends each choose a topic of your choice to present on it. While learning about the intricacies of Great British Bake-Off’s judging is interesting, we thought we’d give you some ideas to help Harvard-ify it up.

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Catfish or Snake? Dissecting the Types of Harvard Tinder Bios

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With the pandemic loneliness hitting hard this February, you would think that people are stepping up their Tinder game (and yet…). Help your friends decide who is legit with this slide deck.

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The Ultimate Ranking of Meat and Sauce Combos at Jefe’s and Felipe’s

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Jefe’s steak is better, but Felipe’s chicken with salsa roja might just take the cake (or burrito?). Don’t be afraid to go off with this controversial idea.

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“The Best” as a 21st Century Anachronism? A Thesis Refuting the Validity of Red’s “Best” Catch

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If this dish is always served with different types of fish and at different times of the year, can they really be Red’s “best” catch? Or is it Red who is truly the “best”? Discuss.

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Which Type of Assignment are You? Blocking Group Edition

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Are you rigid and inflexible like a Life Sciences 1a problem set? Or do you identify more with a free-flowing art form as assigned by an AFVS class? Analytical like a stats question? Classify you and your friends as different assignments and see who agrees.

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Breaking Down the Inefficiencies of the Dish Returns of Each Dining Hall

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Berg does a pretty good job, but Lowell’s dish return (aka the “lowerator”) will give even the calmest person heart palpitations. Explore the differences between each dish return and hopefully we’ll be back soon to enjoy them all!

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Comparing the Psyche of the People I’ve Gotten With to Major Tech and Finance Companies

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All we can say is that too many people are Jeff Bezos.

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Even though we can’t be with our blockmates this year, we can still share a couple of laughs — just hopefully not over Zoom someday.

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Flyby Tries: Fun Ways to Reuse Those Giant Brown Paper Bags

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{shortcode-f1e2ece9b703abe59b67aad3275414ad9af02c8f}Years from now, the Class of 2024 will be known by many things. We’re the class that started college on Zoom, the class that made the Widener steps the new hottest hub on campus, and the class who got the entire campus for ourselves for a semester. However, believe it or not, we have another legacy: we’re the class with the giant brown paper bags (thanks, HUDS!). As firm believers in recycling and craft-making, we (Alexandria and Ashton) will be flexing our creative muscles to transform these formerly boring giant paper bags into fun and awesome Harvard accessories to brighten this virtual Harvard semester!

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*Insert the standard tutorial music*

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Picnic Blanket

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Outdoor socialization is basically the only socialization these days, and thus this comes in the form of many, many, many picnics. Picnics are awesome — food, friends, and the cold, wet ground that can stain your jeans. Just use that brown bag from the Berg, and flatten it into a picnic blanket! This blanket is lightweight, disposable, and impossible to forget as it is holding your food!

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Protest Signs

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Attending a socially-distanced protest, but don’t have any readily available cardboard to make signs? Fear not, as it turns out, giant brown paper bags make awesome signs. {shortcode-731e5a42ca969da42b2e4917541af87f9e4a4acb}All you need is some tape, a pair of scissors, markers/Sharpies, and about three paper bags. Flatten the bags first, then stack them directly on top of each other. Make sure to fold the handles so they won’t poke out, then use the tape to attach them together. Write a message of support on either or both sides of your creation, and there’s your sign!

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Common Room Decorations

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Let’s be honest, your common room is probably bland. To be fair, we were told to pack lightly… but with everyone spending the majority of our days in our room, there is some serious need for decor. What better way to use these brown bags than to turn them into a fun garland? Simple, cheap, sustainable, and easy on the eyes.

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Umbrella

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Did you forget to pack an umbrella to college? Are you too lazy to buy a new one? Are you sick of getting wet every time you walk outside? Well, it’s time to bust out those paper brown bags. Simply tape 2-3 bags to a stick and you will have a handmade umbrella to protect yourself from the incessant Massachusetts rain. Sure, the umbrella is not waterproof, and it’ll probably be gone after a trip to Annenberg and back. And the tourists probably will also give you funny looks. But hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Slippers

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Yep, you read that right. You can make slippers from Annenberg giant brown paper bags. We sat down with Justin Z. Hu ’24 to talk about his impressive DIY project: making these bomb slippers. After watching some cool DIY videos online where people made slippers out of crushed soda bottles, Justin decided to put his own Annenberg twist on it.{shortcode-d69fcb8b2567872e487cca55152e6e657e6efb2d}

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For the toe caps of the slippers, which should be the strongest parts of the slippers, Justin cut out part of the bottom of the paper bags (since this area is the strongest of the entire bag). Next, he cut out a section of the bag wide enough to fit his feet. Then, with some mad folding skills and tape, Justin successfully created the world’s coolest and most Harvard pair of slippers ever.

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Although nothing beats eating inside Annenberg with friends, when Harvard gives you giant brown paper bags, might as well have some ~sustainable~ fun with it. Especially when your idea of fun involves brown paper bag home decor and footwear!

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Five Signs Your Professor Does NOT Pass the Vibe Check

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{shortcode-330d7cacb378d116a7be657bdd23b0ec5ce0a5fa}While reading through the syllabus or surviving the first few classes, I’m sure we’ve had our fair share of eye rolls at rules. With Zoom as our new classroom, class norms can look a little different. Thus, some turn-offs are pandemic-specific, others are everlasting — haunting us both in-person and online. The important part is to figure out what you can handle before the add/drop period ends!

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They start exactly on time.

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I guess it’s wrong to assume there was an unspoken rule to begin class three to five minutes after its designated starttime. I swear I’ve logged on one minute after 12:00 p.m., and I’ve already missed the title slide of the powerpoint. Big no-no if you’re a get-up-5-minutes-before-class-typa-gal.

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Required textbook with their name on it.

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I really had to do a double-take when I saw that demand on the syllabus. Why should we pay $60 for this textbook when I KNOW you have copies at your house?! Literally, email it to us????

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They call you out about your camera

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Okay, I’m not a monster; I can understand why a professor would want everyone to have their camera on to recreate an authentic classroom setting. HOWEVER, why would you call out someone by name for not doing so??? I was just trying to fix my coffee, geez.

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No late assignments

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It’s one thing to have a grade penalty for late assignments, but it’s another to give ZERO credit. Sometimes, this is also made 10 times worse with the no extension-granting rule. It’s the lack of sympathy for me!

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Cold-calling

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Yes, I saved the worst for last. And it feels like this atrocity happens at the worst moments. Why call on me when I’m definitely not making eye contact with the camera? Better yet, is that the reason they did it? Big red flag!

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Remember, you have until Feb. 22 to not vibe in pain …. Or simply risk not vibing in another more accommodating class! Pick your battles!

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The Real Lady Whistledown Spills All

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{shortcode-f1e49924554dfb61d422cecf846b5c53e7196b0d}We all know that the Harvard Alumni Network is vast, but who would have thought that it includes Julia Quinn — aka Julie Cotler Pottinger ’92; aka the author of the novels that brought us the Bridgerton series (and, sigh, Simon Basset). The original tell-all Lady Whistledown agreed to be interviewed for Flyby, spilling her Harvard hot-takes, Bridgerton Season 2 anticipations, and much-needed relationship advice.

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AAK: What dorm did you live in?

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JCP: Pennypacker and Mather.

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AAK: What did you think of Mather?

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JCP: [silence] I was not looked upon well by the housing lottery gods, let’s just put it that way. It wasn’t a random lottery when I was there. It was a transition year. It went completely random the year after us. The year before us, it was this thing where you wouldn’t necessarily get what you wanted, but you would put your top three and you knew what your lottery number was. My year was a transition year where they didn’t tell you what your lottery number was — you had to try to, like, game the system. Yeah, we were this total transition year. And, yeah, we ended up in Mather. But my boyfriend was in Dunster so I guess that helped — and I married him!

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Good to know that the Class of 1992’s Housing Day was just as wacky as ours will be.

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AAK: What was your favorite class at Harvard?

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JCP: Evolutionary Biology with E. O. Wilson.

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I can’t say I knew who E.O. Wilson is, but my editor quickly let me know that the man is a legend.

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AAK: What activities were you involved in on campus?

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JCP: I was a Peer Contraceptive Counselor — do you still have that? We would go into freshman dorms and teach about how to use contraception, and we would also man a hotline! I worked for CityStep; I wasn’t a dancer, but I worked behind the scenes. I also worked for the Let’s Go Travel Guides. It was through Harvard Student Agencies (HSA), and they produced Let’s Go Europe and other travel guides. One summer I went to Crete and Cyprus, and then the next summer I worked in the HSA office selling the advertising for the books!

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AAK: What was your favorite study spot?

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JCP: I guess Lamont Library because I worked at the circulation desk, and interestingly enough, some of the closest friends I am still in touch with are the people that I worked with at Lamont, not necessarily the people I lived with! There was nothing super special [about Lamont]. I was actually looking at it — my son’s a junior in high school — so we were going through Harvard’s digital tours. We went into Lamont, and I was like, “There’s a cafe in there now?! What?” [laughs] We did not have that, but I really enjoyed working there. We had a lot of fun; sometimes we’d bring in a board game and play it at the desk while we were checking out books. And the people who were studying, every now and then one of them would wander out, and be like, “Sooo, who’s got Kamchatka right now?” A bunch of Harvard geeks, you know — they can’t resist playing Risk.

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AAK: What were your favorite restaurants in the Square?

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JCP: I was at Harvard Square recently, and it’s a very different food scene now, but The Border Cafe I still love. Definitely love the Border Cafe. The Hong Kong! We would order the potstickers for take out.

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Looks like we’re not the only one’s mourning the loss of Border Cafe...

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AAK: Did anything from your time as an undergrad at Harvard inspire parts of your Regency novels?

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JCP: Not in terms of content, but I would read Regency Historical romances for fun, and that would be what I would read when I wanted to relax. But they were hard to find! I would have to go all the way to the Waldenbooks at Kendall Square because the COOP and the Harvard Book Store didn’t sell them — that was kind of a pain. When I was back on campus for my 25th Reunion, they had a big display of all of the authors in the COOP, and so they had mine in there, and I took a picture like, “Hey, Mom, I’m finally in the COOP!”{shortcode-d70c8fe49d5cf16b46877be4dd7b736174235eaf}

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AAK: If Lady Whistledown had come to Harvard when you were a student… what salacious secrets would she spill?

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JCP: Ooh. [silence] [prolonged silence] I can’t tell you any of that stuff! That’s a good question though.

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Ok, we’re definitely *not* curious about what went down during Quinn’s time at Harvard now.

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AAK: You definitely get asked this a lot, but what inspired you to start writing Regency novels?

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JCP: It was what I liked to read. It’s as simple as that. I mean, any time you ask a writer why they became a writer, it’s because they like to read. And so, more specifically for me, it was what I liked to read for fun!

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AAK: Were you surprised by Shonda Rimes’ interest in adapting your books for Netflix?

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JCP: I was totally surprised! No one was doing anything like that, because if Hollywood wanted to do a period piece, they would do yet another Jane Austen prestige piece — which is great because I love all of the Jane Austen adaptations. But I don’t think it’s a surprise that Shonda Rimes would be the person who would have enough vision to give my books, to be like, “Wait a minute, we have all this incredible source material and all these people who already love it, let’s give this a try!”

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AAK: Were you surprised by the response to the show? As you know, Netflix recently declared it the most popular debut in its history.

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JCP: I was pretty certain a lot of people would like it. I didn’t think it was going to be a flop. I knew that there was a huge contingent of people who liked romance novels who were incredibly excited for it, because we hardly ever get anything like it. I did not think it was going to take off like it did! That took me by surprise, and it certainly took my publishing house by surprise. The books are sold out everywhere. We can’t keep them in stores!

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AAK: What was it like being on set?

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JCP: I get asked this a lot, and it’s as crazy as you’d think to see the characters come to life. But the part that actually surprised me the most was the scope of it. All of a sudden you realize that there are hundreds and hundreds of people working on this project that started out as just one person just in your head, and you think, “How did this happen?” When I met Adjoa Andoh, who plays Lady Danbury, she said to me, “Thank you for keeping me employed!” I told her I wasn’t sure I was the one she should thank, but you’re welcome I guess! There are so many people working there, and on top of it, they’ve formed a tight knit family because they’ve been working together day in day out for months. What’s a little odd is that I’m not really part of that family anymore. I’m sort of like the Fairy Godmother off in Seattle, eight or nine thousand miles away, so that’s a little odd.

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AAK: Do you have a favorite character?

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JCP: I wouldn’t say that, but the character I’d like to be when I grow up is Lady Danbury. In the books, she’s even, like more. Just more. [laughs]

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Don’t we all want to be Lady Danbury?

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AAK: Is there anything in particular from your books that you’re especially excited to see on screen in the next season?

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JCP: I haven’t seen the scripts for season two, and I can’t guarantee what’s in them. What I hope shows up is the pall mall game, which is like a croquet game. I kind of joke that the Bridgertons make it a blood sport, since they get very competitive with it! I’m really, really hopeful that’s in season two.

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AAK: On a more serious note, everyone was very intrigued by how the adaptation explores several issues that are relevant today. How do you feel about how the issues of race and race in history and literature are explored and presented in the show?

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JCP: In the books that I wrote 20 years ago, I don’t think I even described the color of peoples’ skin, but it’s certainly implied they are all white. I can’t take credit for the casting. I had nothing to do with it, but I 100 percent, unequivocally, love it. I am incredibly grateful to the creative team for figuring out a great way to do this. I love that they started with a historical nugget, which was that many people believe that Queen Charlotte was of mixed race, and said, ‘Ok, what if this was accepted at the time and what if Queen Charlotte used this position to elevate other people of color to the aristocracy? What would society look like then?’ So they created this slightly alternate universe. The way I look at it is that you can have something which is totally accurate, or you could have something where more people can see themselves in a wonderful, fun story with a happy ending, and I’m going to choose the latter every time. Bridgerton is not a history lesson, it’s a show for modern audiences. The main point of romance novels is the happy ending, and the feelings people get when they read them. I want as many people as possible to get that happy feeling when watching the show.

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AAK: Valentine’s Day has come and gone, so I’m wondering what was your best Valentine’s day on campus?

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JCP: I did not have a bad Valentine’s Day on campus, I have to confess. I met the guy I married on the 3rd day of freshman week. My friends and I were eating at what was then called the Freshman Union; he was a junior, but he was back early because he was a FOP leader. He wasn’t my FOP leader, but his roommate was. My husband lived in Dunster House, but because it was freshman week and the Dunster dining hall wasn’t open yet, he was eating at the Freshman Union with his roommate, who saw me and they came over and ate with us. And that’s how I met him! So I had four great Valentine’s Days at Harvard.

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A story as romantic as matching on Datamatch.

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AAK: As a renowned historical romance novelist, do you have any timeless advice for love and romance?

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JCP: I don’t know whether this will work for college students, but the smoothest thing my husband ever did for me on Valentine’s day was, when I was visiting family in Denver and he was back in New Haven in medical school, he called up my sister to get the number of a florist so he could send me flowers. And when the flowers came, he sent flowers to me, my sister, my mother and my grandmother. That is something I actually put in The Duke and I. When Simon first brings flowers to Daphne, he also brings some to Violet, her mother. You don’t actually see this moment in the show, but Daphne briefly mentions it, which is actually something I pointedly asked them to put in there! So that would be my tip to people! If you are away from your Valentine, send them, their mother, their sister and their grandmother flowers! You’ll be in forever.

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*cue Spotify’s Bridgerton playlist*

', [, ])

An Interview with The Supreme Cupids of Datamatch Made Me Believe In Love

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{shortcode-0208126bef0c28bbe5c5cd6e25e67a536108a646}In case you’ve been in nonstop Zooms for the past week, Datamatch is out, and there’s still time to sign up! For those of you unacquainted with Harvard’s best tradition, Datamatch is the exact intersection of two of everyone’s favorite things: personality quizzes and free food. In normal times, you would sign up, take a funky quiz, indicate if you’re looking for platonic or romantic matches (or both!), and then get matched with other Harvard students through a top-secret algorithm. If you and your matches both clicked “Match,” you could grab some free food in the Square with your date!

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The “meet up for free food” side of things looks a bit different this year for obvious reasons, but Datamatch is still helping you land fun, free dates no matter where you are in the world. I had the pleasure of chatting with Isabelle S. Zheng ’22 and Bill W. Zhang ’21, the Supreme Cupids of Datamatch, to uncover how Datamatch is adapting to the new normal, the inspiration behind some of the new features, and relationship advice from the finest matchmakers on campus. Spoiler alert: Love is real, and Datamatch will help you find it. :-)

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First things first, let’s talk about free stuff — remember the good ‘ol days when you used to get bribed to go to events with free food? Luckily, there’s perks for students on and off campus. Here’s what our Supreme Cupids have in store in terms of free dates:

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For on-campus folks:

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You can expect the standard Datamatch treatment: free food with your top match at local partners in the square. “Thanks to Harvard moving to Level Yellow,” Zhang said, “we feel very comfortable allowing in-person dates to occur at our partner restaurants this year, which include Amorino, Black Sheep Bagel, [and] Kung Fu Tea. In past years we always run out of dates, because everyone wants to go on a date, but this year due to the limited student population on campus, we feel there’s a much better chance that everyone will get a chance to go on a date with their top matches.” Sounds like good news to us! Also, the on-campus options aren’t limited to students living on Harvard property, but are open to participants residing in Cambridge near campus as well.

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For off-campus folks:

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If you’re not on campus right now, Datamatch has still got you covered. “For students who are not on campus, we have a new very exciting virtual escape room option that we paid for for all of our top matches, which is a really fun collaborative experience to have with the person you’re matched with,” Zhang said. Additionally, the Snackpass partnership extends to all cities that Snackpass serves, so you might still have a shot at free food in your hometown!

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So, now that you know what’s in it for you, head on over to Datamatch and bask in the glory of its beautiful aesthetics (p.s., there’s definitely not a cute Easter egg if you spend enough time clicking around the landing page. No sir.). Datamatch, as always, has a fantastic quiz, but there’s new features this year, too. You can customize so many things about your profile, and even link your Spotify.

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One especially helpful new feature is the addition of the Blocklist. Still mentally cringing over that time that you broke a plate in Annenberg in front of your crush? Just don’t want that asshole devil’s advocate from section in your matches? Enter their email into your Blocklist (you can still preemptively block them even if you don’t know if they’ve signed up), and the algorithm will make sure they aren’t in your matches.

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If the gorgeous website and fun features haven’t convinced you to sign up yet, don’t worry. This year’s Datamatch is better than ever, thanks to a ~spicy~ new addition: the Crush Roulette feature. Crush Roulette allows each user to submit the emails of two people they think should get together, and the algorithm adjusts their chances of matching accordingly. Each user can only submit one pairing, though, so scheme wisely. Zhang and Zheng can explain the secrets of Crush Roulette better than I ever could, so I’ll let them take it from here.

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ISZ: We were really trying to shake it up this year. We wanted to get more users more engaged and offer new things to play around with on the website, and one of our members came up with Crush Roulette. This was totally member-led; they designed the feature, they built the feature, they worked out all the kinks with it, so we’re really excited about it.

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BWZ: As far as I can tell, it’s all my blockmates and my friends can talk about — who they’re gonna put, or asking around for which friend they can help ship. Empirically, it seems that things are really getting heated with Crush Roulette.

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BWZ: The goal here, of course, is to allow people to feel like they have more control. We’re not going to go into any of the details of the algorithm, just because that’s some, uh, magic sauce. We will say, just to make sure people don’t have false hope, it’s not that if you just put [an email into Crush Roulette], that person becomes your number one, because that would be too easy. So, we do account for it in the algorithm, but it’s not the end-all be-all result.

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BWZ: And that’s also necessary, because otherwise I could just put Isabelle and Isabelle could put me and we’ll just get our free food. So, we did wanna make sure that does not happen.

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Welp, there goes our hope for gaming the system. Sigh.

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PAJ: Is it like a laborious, intensive, multi-day process [to create the matches]?

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ISZ: So usually, after the survey closes on February 14th, our algorithm team stays up all night to run the algorithm for all of the schools. So, it does take multiple hours to run, but I wouldn’t say it takes days.

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BWZ: Yeah, at this point we’ve successfully discovered how to use computers, so it’s no longer like the laborious hand-matching process that I’m sure our predecessors, like, twenty-some years ago who started Datamatch had to use. But, it’s still something that requires a lot of attention, and you know, making sure that different users requests — whether it’s like the different preferences, or the Blocklist — are accounted for. So it is something that we pay a lot of attention to, to make sure we get it right.

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ISZ: I will also personally add that our members have been working a lot on making the algorithm even better this year using anonymized data, trying to figure out what makes a match good. So, we’re continuously trying to improve those matches.

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PAJ: So do you guys work kind of continuously on Datamatch since the start of the school til launch, essentially?

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BWZ: It’s definitely becoming more and more a year-round endeavor, um, partly because as you can see a lot of these really cool features they take a lot of time to brainstorm, design, and also partly because we’ve sort of been introducing new variants of Datamatch. Last May, when everything became virtual, we tried, like, a quarantine Datamatch that was open to all students and they got put into a single pool. In the fall we now have a Meet program, called Meet24, for freshmen to platonically — platonically — get to know each other. And, in recent years, Datamatch also became the organization that conducts Match20 — or, this year it’ll be Match21 — which is for, like, the outgoing seniors to get, like, one last shot. So, as a result, there’s things going during, like, all parts of the year.

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ISZ: I also wanted to add, just really quickly, that we’re trying to build a lot of education into Datamatch’s “comp”, quote-unquote, as well. One of our web leads put together this entire web bootcamp curriculum that ran over the summer, and again in the fall just to kind of teach everyone that goes through it a lot about web development and coding and getting them into the specifics and basics of Datamatch.

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PAJ: So, like, anyone can join Datamatch? Even if you’re not computer-inclined?

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BWZ and ISZ: Yes!

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BWZ: Absolutely! We sort of paint ourselves as these CS nerds, who, like, come up with this algorithm, but there truly are a ton of other things to work on. In fact, if you look at, like, the credits page, you see the web team, the algo team — very typical, like, STEM-oriented teams — but the business team, the design team, all the other campus leads and campus members, what they work on day to day is a lot more operations-focused, a lot more creative — like writing the questions, reaching out to the businesses, establishing partnerships, finances. Our comp is completely open, there’s no interview, there’s no cutting. Our philosophy is: We want you to have fun doing it, and you will know at the end of it if you had fun. We give you responsibility wherever you want it, wherever you ask for it.

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So, basically, Datamatch is one of the most wholesome groups on campus (almost on the level of a certain blog run by a certain newspaper). Not all that surprising, given that love and connection is kind of their deal.

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PAJ: Since you guys happen to know everything about love, any advice for Datamatch hopefuls? Any pro tips from the people behind the machine?

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ISZ: Oh yes, yes! I actually worked on a project after Datamatch last year that just collected anonymous survey data from a bunch of the users on Datamatch, and just wanted to provide a report and cool data visualizations of what dating’s like at schools around the country. So, one of the stats we found was that Datamatch users who actually go on a date with their Datamatch were actually 30 percent more likely to be in a relationship in college. So, I think the message in that is just, keep your mind open, match all of the Datamatches you get, and just, like, see what comes out of it. Having that practice in being open-minded means that you might be open-minded to other things in the world as well.

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BWZ: Yeah, and like reinforcing that message of being open, we definitely also saw that Datamatch users who have profile pictures, filled out their bio, just provided more information about themselves, were more open to their potential matches — they got matched more often, went on dates more often. And so, that’s also sort of similar to Isabelle’s message: be comfortable, be open; don’t be shy, don’t be skeptical. Everyone on the website is a fellow Harvard student, right? Nobody else is gonna see you that you don’t want to see you and you have the Blocklist, so really be open and try to form new connections. And, if you have that mindset, then people will come to you.

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Bruh. That’s some cute shit. This is the most emotion I’ve felt since last year. Honestly, love might be real, y’all.

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PAJ: Just one last question: If you had to describe your love life as a HUDS dish, anything come to mind?

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ISZ and BWZ: [silence]

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BWZ: Oh man.

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BWZ: I would say my love life is like the Red Spiced Chicken. On the outside, it’s like people always think that things are going on, but no. On the inside it’s just plain chicken. Like, it’s just the most normal, ordinary thing.

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ISZ: I’m just, like, very fond of, like, the biscuits and honey butter. I can’t exactly describe why I wanna tie that to my relationship status or whatever, but it’s just, like, you know, a little bit salty and sweet, and it has that nice honey flavor. The textures are great. Just like a nice, I don’t know — I don’t think that really applies. [laughs] I don’t know.

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BWZ: What about you?

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PAJ: Oh, jeez, I dunno. I should’ve prepared an answer to this! [silence] I guess, kind of like ordering something from the grill because it takes a long time, and by the time you get it you don’t really want it anymore. [awkward laugh]

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PAJ: So, any closing thoughts for our readers?

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BWZ: One last message I wanna leave is just that Datamatch, we’re always trying to bring love to more people. Um, this year, I think we’re doing a little too well. There’s other schools on our tails in terms of signing up. A message to Harvard students: please sign up, we can’t lose to other schools!

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ISZ: Particularly, WashU!

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BWZ: We have to keep our Harvard dominance in Datamatch!

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At the time of publishing, UW Madison is somehow beating Harvard by nearly 900 sign-up’s… y’all. This is just sad. Go! Sign! Up!

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If you’re not convinced by now, maybe you just hate love. Just kidding. Kind of. But, seriously: Sign up, get your free food, and find the platonic or romantic love of your life! Happy matching!

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Xoxo,

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Flyby

', [])

Flyby’s Top Hits: Valentine’s Day 2021 Edition

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{shortcode-e8798b5d700110ccd570d1d647387763248b87e6}Tired of listening to Driver’s License on repeat? Need some motivational jams as you craft your Datamatch profile? Just looking for some ~Zoom date ambience~? We’ve got it all right here ;) Whether you’re full of love, full of yearning, or just full of Jefe’s quesadillas (me too) – jam out to Flyby’s latest Valentine’s Day playlist. {shortcode-90fcc7b2f1e8505f08a4726e18200efb96d79bc6}

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_

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/

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', [, ])

We Spent Too Much Time On Tinder For ~Journalism~

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{shortcode-412aba65be27837d056f1d37428ebe1cb740014f}Hoping for inspiration on how to make that ~perfect first impression~? Seen too many men holding fish on your screen lately? Fed up with the less-than-ideal or nonexistent bios? This Valentine’s Day, Flyby Blog went on a hunt to find the very best — and very worst — Tinder bios. But be warned: you may suffer from permanent eye damage.

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Best:

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“Are you Papa Bear’s porridge? bc you’re way too hot”

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Witty. Intellectual. Immediately sexy ;)

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“Private Equity at Bain”

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We swiped right immediately. Love a partner who can provide.

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“Don’t worry, I’ll kill the spider”

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Every person’s dream. Though technically we’d prefer you putting it in a cup and taking it outside, even if we personally refuse.

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“In reality I’m 5’4”. Standing on my money, I’m still 5’4””

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Points for making us laugh.

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Worst:

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“You can say I’m a bit of a Taurus”

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With all the ~less than ideal~ Tauruses we’ve encountered, yeah, we’re running away. Hey, at least they’re not Scorpios!

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“My school mascot once made out with me, so you could say I’m easy to love”

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I mean…. factually, correct. Visually, oh so wrong.

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“Please someone teach me how to eat sushi before it’s too late”

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Dear 32-year-old creepy man who set his settings to include 20-year-olds, it is officially too late.

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“Harvard Class of 2024”

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–(inhales deeply)–OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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“I just wanna make a girl as horny as the Grinch made Martha May”

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No one needed this energy. No one asked.

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“If you wear leather pants, swipe right”

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??????

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“Grabb a potato and get ready for war”

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How do you spell “grab” wrong?????

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“Mamma Mia is the worst film of all time”

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This is the worst bio of all time. Full stop.

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We hope your dating app escapades are going better than ours, but if not, at least you’ll have something to complain (or write an article) about. Or maybe you’ve fallen victim to one of these unfortunate bios — have no fear, we’re here to help with that too. Either way, we wish you the best of luck and the happiest of Valentine’s Days!

', [])

A Harvard Student's Guide to Tinder... in a Pandemic

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{shortcode-d9c4f9e058b82d64c1728df9d70f27a813b4f8d3}Harvard is known for many things. Among them, a mascot that is quite literally a shade of color, Mark E. Zuckerberg ‘06, and a notoriously piss-stained statue. Most notably, though, it seems Harvard is known for its infamous dating culture — or rather, lack of. And let’s face it, the pandemic hasn’t made things any easier. So how does one go about finding a partner now, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up? For many, (and you presumably, seeing as you’re reading an article titled “A Harvard Student’s Guide to Tinder”) Tinder is their go-to. So go ahead and download it right now, avid reader.

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...Go ahead, we’re waiting.

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Photos

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Gotta get those good shots! Here’s an ideal formula for pictures: Make sure to have at least one of you alone. When you do pose with your friends, try not to pose with any of your friends that look like Ryan Reynolds or Margot Robbie. That never seems to work well, for obvious reasons. (Figure it out, you’re a Harvard student.) Speaking of which, please don’t have any pictures that scream “I go to Harvard!” Save that Coop sweatshirt, socks, scarf, and hat for another day. And a note worth considering — leave out the fish pictures. Just do it, you’ll thank us later.

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Bio

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Keep it short but witty, something that people can use if they decide to message you. Try going with a fun fact or pun, and maybe even go down the pro/con route. I’d tell you to put something interesting about yourself to find people with similar interests, but let’s be honest, if you’re on Tinder, you’re not really looking for a long-term relationship. For that, wait until Flyby’s “A Harvard Student’s Guide to Bumble in a Pandemic” comes out.

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If you’re in a plagiarizing mood, take your pick:

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- “Red flags start looking orange when their Linkedin says 500+”

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- “Only on here cause my Craigslist dates were going poorly”

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- “What do you call a potato that does yoga? A medi-tater. Pro: makes dad jokes. Con: makes dad jokes.”

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Pick-Up Lines

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Well, you’ve matched with somebody! What will you do now? If you’re going to message first, you have to make a good first impression. Try making a joke about one of their pictures or their bio. If that doesn’t work for you, here’s a handy list of good pick up lines to use at your will:

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- For the corny: Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

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- For those who have left the Harvard bubble: Can’t lie, you are BUtiful!

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- For the ~spicy~: I thought my psets were hard, but looking at you has made something else harder.

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Asking Them Out

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Say your pick up line was a smashing success (thanks, Flyby!) and the conversation’s been going well. You’ve even exchanged pictures of your dogs, and several winky faces have worked their way into the chat. How do you go about taking the next step and meeting up in person? (Six feet apart, of course.) Just be casual! A simple “want to marry me?” will suffice just fine. If they say no, well, then, it clearly just wasn’t meant to be.

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The Date

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They said yes! What now? First of all, don’t forget we’re still living in the midst of a pandemic, so put that mask on. Just make sure you’re meeting the right person… we all know you’ve accidentally jumped into conversation with strangers thinking they were someone else when wearing their masks.

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Next, try to establish some boundaries. Have you both been tested for Covid within the past few days? Are either of you immuno-compromised/have at-risk family members you’re seeing regularly? Since you don’t ~really~ know this person, opt for something more pandemic-friendly on the first date, such as a romantic picnic in the Yard surrounded by tourists for a bit of extra ambience. Impress them with your dorm microwave cooking skills (soggy grilled cheese anyone?), or if you’re not feeling quite that brave, opt for some takeout. Who knows, maybe if things go well you might even end up getting some dessert ;)

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So, everything actually goes well and you have a great time with this person! First of all, pat yourself on the back. You have perfectly followed Flyby’s Tinder guide, and won the pandemic dating game. Seriously, that’s quite the feat. But also, keep up with everything you’ve been doing so far! Don’t ghost them because you’re getting serious with your math pset, since they’ll think you lost interest. (It’s okay we get it, partial derivatives turn you on). And make sure you get their phone number so you’re not chatting exclusively over the glitchy Tinder app, where they’re constantly reminded of other potential matches. Who knows, maybe you can have a few romantic Zoom study dates sometime. The future is in your hands now <3

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Flyby Investigates: How are Freshman Getting Cuffed?

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{shortcode-4641b4245119e8427d2b5a1465bb4be053b78636}A common piece of advice upperclassmen give to incoming freshmen is to avoid relationships. Normally, it’s a weird dynamic having a s/o during your freshman fall: you’re trying to build new platonic relationships; you’re partying; you’re taking on a rigorous academic/extracurricular workload. There’s just no time! However, this year, we’ve seen so many frosh leaving campus in a relationship. (WHY?!?!) The simple answer is our experience is a bit... different. Don’t worry, we’re amazed too.

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The Zoom DMs

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Many freshmen claim they were approached by their s/o in the ZMs. With all online classes, it should be obvious that relationships would stem from them. Frosh were desperate to make friends ~or~ maybe something more than friends. Thus, we traded the “wanna grab coffee after class?” irl for “wow, your hair looks really good today!” in a private message. Everyone knows the excitement of receiving a DM on Zoom... BUT to receive a flirty one: how could you resist?! This phenomenon of a “Zoom Crush” is not just a Harvard phenomenon, as the Washington Post claims that other college students around the country are experiencing them as well. (Hey — at least we aren’t alone in shooting our shots!).

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Quarantine Bae

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The cancellation of Visitas meant frosh had to find some interesting ways of meeting their incoming class – suddenly, the class GroupMe was the hottest place to be! Bigger group chats led to smaller group chats, which sometimes led to individual messages. Many claim that they bonded with their s/o all quarantine with tons of texts and late night FaceTimes— only to simply seal the deal when getting to campus. So unlike some upperclassmen experiences, freshmen had been talking to their person intensely since March/April. They felt like they knew them really well, making it really easy to take it to the ~next level~ when coming to campus.

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Covid Cuffed

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Let’s be real — the most obvious reason so many freshmen are cuffed is due to the pandemic. Loneliness right now is majorly prevalent. Commitment isn’t as scary when we think about how much we’ve lost this year! Why wait? You’re in desperate need of someone you can depend on or just have fun with — to hopefully bring you some joy in this stressful time. Muriel Dol ‘24 claims she didn’t have a problem committing because she didn’t want any “situationships.” She didn’t want to worry about someone who wasn’t hers when she was in a new environment about to meet lots of people.

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A lot of the issues with getting cuffed freshman fall is the possibility of committing too soon before you meet everyone — this year, that’s simply not the case. There’s no parties or big gatherings (at least there shouldn’t be) where you feel like you’ll meet someone else you’re interested in. It’s hard to meet people in person, and even harder to make close relationships with social distancing guidelines and masks. So, when frosh met their person and vibed… there was no hesitation!

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Somehow, freshmen have truly become the trailblazers for the latest quarantine relationships on Harvard’s campus. Is our class just more lax and open to commitment? Or is the pandemic inspiring these traits? Who knows! Nevertheless, the frosh seem happy, and that’s all that matters<3 xoxo, flossip girl

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What’s Your Harvard Love Language?

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{shortcode-2af53dd554891586574abc5c549b30cba0e9d5e3}If you think you know what your love language is, think again. As a Harvard student, this quiz is going to give you your most accurate results yet — just in time for convincing your new quarantine boo to buy you a Zinneken’s waffle or endorse your skills on LinkedIn for Valentine’s Day!

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Where is your ideal date location?

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a) Jefe’s — if someone bought me nachos, I would probably marry them on the spot.

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b) Shake Shack — I’m fully prepared to destroy my new lover at foosball while we enjoy our shakes.

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c) Tatte — the ambient lighting and freshly baked pastries really do it for me<3

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d) Zinneken’s — warm, cozy, and plenty of Nutella… need I say more?

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e) Toscano’s — what can I say, I’m bougie.

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You’re at the extracurricular fair during Opening Days. Which Harvard club do you sign up for?

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a) Phillips Brooks House Association (PBHA)

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b) Harvard Student Agencies (HSA)

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c) Flyby Blog ;)

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d) Crimson EMS

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e) Harvard Financial Analysts Club (HFAC)

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What do you consider the apex of romance?

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a) Doing your pset for you

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b) Actually ~getting a meal sometime~

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c) Putting in a “good word” for you while internship hunting

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d) Carrying you back from a quad party

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e) Giving you their Canada Goose

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You’re sTrESsEd. How do you deal?

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a) Hiding under your bed until your friends start worrying about you

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b) Going to section just to lay all your problems on the *cool* TF

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c) Writing an angry #harvardconfessions post

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d) Hugging John Harvard until you smell like metal

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e) Wearing your Patagucci because it makes you feel better

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What’s your preferred transportation?

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a) Uber (but my boo calls it for me)

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b) Walking with the homies — it’s slow, and I’ll become a human popsicle, but I’m here for it

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c) My trusty scooter, but if Google maps doesn’t talk to me every two seconds, I’m lost

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d) Good ol’ red line, and I’m standing in a human sandwich because there’s no seats left

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e) Uber Eats because I’m not going anywhere — let it come to me :)

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Results

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Mostly A’s: Acts of Service

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If your boo is willing to go to Jefe’s for your first date, they have delivered the ultimate act of service. You value when your partner shows that they care about you, especially in the form of completed psets or warm tea from Brain Break.

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Mostly B’s: Quality Time

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If you chose mostly B’s, there’s nothing that makes you feel better than quality time with the people you love. You don’t mind waiting in line forever at Shake Shack if it means spending more time with your boo. And studying in Lamont isn’t (as much of) a chore when they’re with you<3

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Mostly C’s: Words of Affirmation

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“[insert name] has endorsed your skill on LinkedIn” means even more than “I love you.” Mostly C’s mean you cherish that your partner tells you how much they care about you, whether that means shouting over the noise in Tatte or telling you, “yeah, you do look good in your fake Canada Goose.”

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Mostly D’s: Physical Touch

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If you chose mostly D’s, cuddles are the way to your heart. You don’t mind crowded places like Zinneken’s, where you have the excuse to snuggle up to your boo. And an extracurricular where you show care through physical contact is right up your alley.

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Mostly E’s: Receiving Gifts

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If you chose mostly E’s, you’re high maintenance… and what about it? Thoughtful gifts are the easiest way to find (buy) the way into your heart. Everyone wins — you (with your new gift) and your boo (because they’ve got you)!

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Why Haven’t They Texted You Back Yet?

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{shortcode-2e9d0d42a794887525b225a1ff8a414a57561773}Feeling stressed about classes? Feeling anxious because that special someone you’ve been slyly eyeing hasn’t texted you back yet? Go with the flow below to help you determine the answer to the undeniably more important problem. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, who really needs a 4.0 GPA anyway!

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