4. Sufjan Stevens - “Enjoy Your Rabbit”

3. Jefferson Airplane: “White Rabbit” - “And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you’re going to fall, tell ‘em a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call.”

2. Animal Collective: “Who Could Win a Rabbit” - “Wabbit or habit, habit or real. Wabbit or habit, habit or real.”

1. Magnetic Fields: “Let’s Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits” - “Let’s do it all day long. Rapidly becoming rabid. Singing little rabbit songs.”

—Beryl C.D. Lipton is the outgoing Arts Chair. She doesn’t really get why you guys are always making fun of furries.

TOP FIVE MOST AGGRESSIVELY BORING ARTIFACTS OF 2009

Some things are simply boring; others thrust their boredom upon us. The following is a list of the latter.

5. Health Care Reform

Is this still going on? How could the most important legislative move in 30 years be as boring as the last Toni Morrison novel? It sounded like the part about “death panels” could’ve been cool, but apparently that was made up... Or was it? It was.

4. Dave Eggers

If the least boring thing you managed to do in 2009 was a screen adaptation for a children’s book, and the second least boring thing you managed to do was write a novel, you’re walking the fine line between boring and criminally untalented. But we’ll err on the side of boring.

3. Celebrity deaths

Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett and Patrick Swayze? Yeah, I was sad when they died... in 1997, 1989 and whenever.

2. Lady Gaga

Hedonism! Sexual ambiguity! Synthesizers! Is this disco? I’m bored.