Postulate 1: Peacock: n. 1. A majestic bird known for its colorful plumes, expression of disdain, and symbolism of the colonial experience 2. (used in HPT country) small genitalia

Postulate 2: A peacock should be a beautiful, regal animal. The HPT's peacock, Middlesex, however, is neither. (Ben Kornell, however, extricates himself admirably.)

Postulate 3: Even more disturbing, he is forced down our throats as the sole sex symbol of the production (unless you count BJ Avrell's legs...) and he emits little of the "loco libido" he is so proud of. In other words, he's all talk - a peacock who can't strut.

Postulate 4: According to Encylopedia Britannica, "In courtship displays, the cock elevates his tail, which lies under the train, thus elevating the train and bringing it forward. At the climax of this display the tail feathers are vibrated, giving the feathers of the train a shimmering appearance and making a rustling sound."

Postulate 5: Middlesex neither rustles, nor vibrates, nor has a shimmering appearance. (In fact, he resembles the unfortunate lovechild of Big Bird and Grover.)

Conclusion: Sesame Street characters should not sleep together.

The Politics of Being Neutered

Objective: To decode the climactic impotence of all the male characters in the show at the end of Act I and to explain the subtle social significance of losing one's genitals

Postulate 1:

Jewel of Denial

Where have _my_ precious jewels gone?

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch