PRINCETON AT CORNELL
If the Tigers can win this, they face Penn, Yale, and Dartmouth the next three weeks, meaning they’ll likely cruise to a championship.
But traveling to Ithaca is always tough—probably has something to do with the whole “leaving modern civilization” thing—while Princeton will have to avoid a letdown after last week’s high. And if Colton Chapple can throw for 448 yards against the Tigers’ secondary, Jeff Mathews can throw for 600.
On the whole, the outcome will depend on which of Princeton’s two offenses last week shows up—the one from first half that couldn’t break into Crimson territory or the fourth quarter one that was more unstoppable than China’s GDP growth.
I think the former is far closer to reality than the latter.
Pick: Cornell 35, Princeton 28
BROWN AT PENN
I should have seen it coming when it barely squeaked by Dartmouth and Columbia, but I never thought it would get this bad. Seriously, what happened to Penn football?
A perennial title contender and preseason poll runner-up, the Quakers are now 2-4 after losing to the double first name buddies. Senior quarterback Billy Ragone, a 2010 first team All-Ivy star, has regressed faster than LeBron’s hairline and now features a 1:1 TD:INT ratio. On the other side of the ball, a once vaunted defense is now tied for second-worst in the league.
It’s weird, but Penn football is no longer a threat, and Brown should take this one with ease.
Pick: Brown 31, Penn 14
HARVARD AT DARTMOUTH
Remember that scene in I Love You Man where Jason Segel gets drilled with a golfball and yells “This is my nightmare!”?
Well, that’s what Tim Murphy was doing on Saturday while watching his team fall apart faster than Eddie Murphy’s career.
After last week’s debacle, the Crimson is going to be playing angry on Saturday, which means bad news for Dartmouth (quick, someone call Rolling Stone Magazine!).
Bill Simmons likes to talk about “Eff You” performances, in which an elite player or team—often coming off a bad loss in which people question how good said player or team really is—will come out and dominate to show people they shouldn’t be written off just yet. Recent examples include President Obama’s second debate, Peyton Manning’s 2012 season, and Eminem’s “Recovery” album.
That’s the type of performance I’m expecting out of Harvard football tomorrow.
Pick: Harvard 49, Dartmouth 10
—Staff writer Scott A. Sherman can be reached at ssherman13@college.harvard.edu.