Back at the wedding, Abe Liu suddenly appears and says he had secretly been there the whole time, disguised as the flower girl. He explains he’s now vice president of Wonderful Pistachios and was at the wedding representing the company’s new president, Adam Wheeler, who had worked his way up by claiming he owned the world record for shell cracking.

Liu begs the Winklevii twins to come home, saying their ads are an essential part of the company’s business. Wheeler, Liu explains, has an idea for a website called ConnutU, the world’s first social network for nuts. They only need a $100 million investment from the twins to start things up. Of course, the Winklevii readily agree and return to the United States only to discover that Wheeler and Liu have defrauded them of all their money.

Finding there to be no wealth in professional rowing, the twins live out the rest of their lives in poverty, future subjects of the documentary “The Social Nutwork.” Faust and Summers live happily ever after in Swaziland.

B) Princeton beats Harvard in Saturday’s football game.

When Raven asked which situation I predicted would occur at 3:30 pm Saturday—when the Crimson led Princeton 34-10 with 13 minutes to go—you know what I would have said? I would have said B. Because everyone knows that a documentary about a pair of nut con-men would obviously be called “Cashew Me If You Can.”

But nonetheless, what took place in Princeton on Saturday was absolutely shocking. Harvard was completely dominating the Tigers when things escalated quickly, Brick killed a guy, and yadda yadda yadda, Harvard lost.

For the Crimson, it was a collapse faster than that of The Wire’s Barksdale empire, an ending more shocking than that of the Sopranos, a world more fantasy-like than that of Game of Thrones. For the Tigers, it was a feat more impressive than my referencing three HBO dramas in a one-sentence analogy.

Forget the perfect season that had looked increasingly likely every day. Forget being one of the best Ivy football teams of all time. Forget the 14 straight wins, the longest streak in Division I. Forget the program points record and the top-ten FCS ranking.

All of that was over. The fat lady had sang, the Giants had won the pennant, and Al Michaels was believing in miracles once more.

A team that had been the epitome of dominance for 399 days and 15 hours is now staring a stunning reality in the face—it might not even win the Ivy League title.

YALE AT COLUMBIA

Princeton’s victory wasn’t the only shocker of the weekend, as Yale upset Penn, 27-13, despite having to feature the double first name buddies–Logan Scott and Derek Russell—who came into the preseason as its third- and fourth-string quarterbacks, respectively.

This week, Yale gets to play Columbia, coming off an upset of its own against Dartmouth.

Only kidding, of course—the Lions didn’t win. They’re about as bad at football as Republican Senate candidates are at talking about the female reproductive system. But Yale is really not much better, and somebody has to take this one, so I’ll go with the home team.

Pick: Columbia 21, Yale 17