Be honest. Would you rather have a front-row seat to see Pedro pitch on a given Sunday, or be anywhere in Shea when Rocker returns to Queens in June?

I thought so. See you on the 7.

Beantown's inferiority extends to the gridiron. The New England Patriots --who, if the team's name is any implication, belong to Vermont as

much as they do Boston--recently experienced a disappointing campaign and fired head coach Pete Carroll. Local radio pundits had a field day with that "saga."

Well, that's nothing. How many NFL teams have gone through three head coaches over the course of sixty hours? I can only think of one, and that was the New York Jets a few months ago. And you know what? Hardened New York's sports fans shook their heads and continued like it was just another day.

And so, after quickly calling hockey a draw, we come to the Celtics. Ah, you say, what can this jerk say against 16 championship banners and one of the proudest winning traditions in sports?

The problem is that most of the people who are reading this couldn't spell Kevin McHale back when the last banner made its way up to the rafters. The Celts today are flat out boring to watch.

The Knicks--now there's a great blend of talent and controversy. The Knickerbockers have one of the league's most electrifying players in Latrell Sprewell and a snazzy celebratory gesture known as "The Big L." The Celtics have one of the league's most underachieving talents in Antoine Walker and a supporting cast that averages roughly 50 of those other "L's" each year.