"So, um, that Pete Schourek, he's really pitching like a man possessed, isn't he?"

"Yep, but I wonder if he'll hold off Jeff Fassero for the third spot in the rotation."

This is what passes for drama here? It's almost laughable to anyone who has looked at the back page of a New York tabloid anytime in the recent past.

New York--now that's where all if the intrigue is. Start with baseball. Every year, the New York Yankees dedicate their season to another Bomber of the past or present--sometimes two--who has come down with a life or career-threatening ailment. Every year, Darryl Strawberry will find another way to disgrace and then redeem himself in the eyes of the faithful.

Now, I am in no way endorsing the abuse of illegal narcotics or terminal illness for the sake of becoming media darlings. Heck, I hate the Yanks. I'm merely pointing out that in the Big Apple, there are always four or five subplots attached to every campaign that make every season interesting.

That becomes even more apparent when you realize that the Yankees, despite their ongoing Hollywood screenplay, don't even grab the majority of the Daily News' sports headlines.

Did anyone catch the Mets' season last year? Recall the disgruntled outfielders who played cards during pivotal playoff games, the insane manager who returned to the dugout in a Groucho Marx disguise after being ejected from the game, the grand slam single in the 15th inning in the NLCS, and New York's newfound love affair with John Rocker. These events transpired in roughly two months of the Amazins' 1999 Wild Card season. Now that's entertainment!