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Introspection

Endpaper

Thick Blood

"I thought that my throat was closing up every morning. That my heart would suddenly stop. That I might choke on my dinner and require an emergency tracheotomy. "

Christina Endpaper
Endpaper

From Me, in Cambridge, with Love

Letters sent by mail are outdated, yes. But they are snapshots of time, the culmination of a friend’s life between the day they mailed their last letter and the moment they sat down to write this new one.

Maya S. Bhagat Parents Illustration
Endpaper

Are We Home Yet?

At the time, everyone thought the virus would pass in two months. I thought I’d get home by July 2020. It’s September 2021, and I haven’t been home for 20 months.

Rally against AAPI Violence 1
Introspection

A Form of Hesitation

What happens when the lost object speaks; when, given these material and psychic limitations, we do try to express our malaise? What forms exist to communicate and grapple with Asian Americans’ public and private racial grief and outrage?

Cloud Watching Gif
Introspection

Cloud Watching Gif

Cloud Watching Gif
Introspection

The Big Blue Unknown

There is something captivating about the freedom of the clouds — the way in which they trust that they will somehow float wherever they need to go, if they need to be anywhere at all. They seemed so unlike me, someone always tempted to plan and prepare for the next semester of classes to take, activities to join, or careers to pursue.

Oahu Car View
Introspection

Oahu Car View

A view from the car in Oahu, Hawaii.

aux driving vector graphic
Introspection

Twenty Minutes in My Empty Mind

Over the past year, during the months living in my childhood bedroom, I often found myself taking aimless drives – canyon, freeway, shortcut to nowhere – discovering and rediscovering my favorite music. It is the only place where a spontaneous two-hour drive feels less like a chore and more like a gift.

aux driving vector graphic
Introspection

aux driving vector graphic

In control of the music

Cuddling Endpaper Graphic
Introspection

Ever Nestled

Do other people still snuggle with their parents? Is that normal? I decide to talk to some people, maybe find some answers. I start by talking with the experts: professional cuddlers.

maple leaf vector
Introspection

We're Really Not That Nice

Finally, one of them broke the heavy silence and asked me, in all seriousness, “Do you not have racism in Canada?”

Hawaii postcard vector graphic
Introspection

Unpacking the Baggage of Hawaii's Tourism

The portrayals of Hawaii as a party paradise for slender college kids holding beers or backflipping into blue water rubs me the wrong way. I find this kind of vacation porn reductive: It erases the state’s complicated identity.

Introspection

Vision: "both and"

KNR sets out to explore the tension of “existing both within and beyond the projection of Otherness" through self-portraiture.

Introspection

Welcome to the Club

How could I have felt complimented when I knew I was being denigrated? As the entire ethnicity group to which I belonged was being effectively erased, how could I have felt, however briefly, seen?

Nanu Holds Saima
Endpaper

To Love a Stranger

The silence was in no way uncomfortable; most times, it was pleasant, even relaxing. But underneath was a low thrum of pent-up frustration, which I only became aware of every once in a while. There was so much I wanted to tell her — about my high school track meets, the school paper, later my college roommates — and so much I wanted to ask, that I simply could not.

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