caressing my cavities and fissures like the secret soul

of Retch

her footnote reads: so sorry so sorry so sorry I was born like this I became like this I was made into this blame him blame her blame elsewise No so sorry I know No It’s me Yes so sorry so sorry slurring together and humiliated footnote reads, head to feet, down to feet, I am feet, I am beneath, I am the footnote on every moment with my Betters I am below see me here so sorry so sorry to Intrude

 

There is something on the Border

that won’t be taught Hindi; god forbid for that I can’t speak English well enough

that won’t be wearing men’s clothes; but won’t buy a long dress

that speaks in the Academy; and screams at the face of a closed door

that puts on lipstick carefully; and hacks all her hair off in one stroke

that doesn’t know, but talks anyway; and tomorrow contradicts herself

that doesn’t talk when maybe she does know; and tomorrow scorns silence

that proclaims American; that proclaims Immigrant;

who asks why not both as one, but offers two selves to choose from

her footnote reads: origin unknown. Created. unreadable. Ambiguity in the space of erasure and non disclosure.