PENN AT HARVARD:

For the year, the Quakers are being outscored by 0.22 points per possession—the same margin as last year’s 1-13 Cornell team. Maybe that’s why Penn senior forward Greg Louis admitted this week in The Daily Pennsylvanian that he’d been asked by a group of eight-year-old girls how his team still tries with no hope of a league title.

I’m not sure what Louis told the precocious Girl Scouts, but I’d bet he didn’t mention the team has lost three of five by 25 points or more. Or that the losing got so bad a DP writer spent his Valentine’s Day tweeting moribund facts about the team’s historical pitifulness.

With Harvard having beaten Penn three straight times—and posting a plus-75 margin of victory in the process—a morose soliloquy from dear Steven Saturday almost seems inevitable.

Pick: Harvard

COLUMBIA AT YALE:

Much like last year, a Harvard-Yale showdown for all the marbles in the penultimate game of the year appears inevitable. Each team plays four of its last six at home, with no trips to Jadwin left on the schedule. In both cases, the Lions may have the best chance of the remaining teams at playing the spoiler.

Not only does Columbia play a high-variance strategy, but they have arguably the league’s third-best player in Maodo Lo. Before Chambers sent him sprawling on his game-winner Friday, Lo used a devastating crossover to put Crimson defender after Crimson defender on the floor. He was in total control—demonstrating proficiency at the rim, in the midrange, and beyond the arc. He had six threes in a narrow loss to Yale at Levien three weeks ago, and the team needs the same here to throw the race upside down.

Pick: Yale  

CORNELL AT BROWN:

Both teams split a pair of contests last weekend, losing to one of the league’s upper echelon squads and crushing a bottom feeder the next night. Given that only the Gentleman’s C’s post a pair of consecutive challenging games, such a pattern isn’t unusual this year. In fact, teams handling the Harvard-Dartmouth, Brown-Yale, and Penn-Princeton duos have managed a split 61-percent of the time, with only three sweeps all year.

Pick: Cornell

PENN AT DARTMOUTH:

In what amounts to a suckerpunch to the hosts, Penn will play the game under the specter of potential legislation that could change campus forever. Yes, I am referring to the proposed Pennsylvania bill that could lower hard liquor prices across the state. In a wholly predictable series of events, a thirsty Dartmouth athletic department (25-25-1 since the announcement of the hard liquor ban) will welcome its hosts with commensurate jealousy and anger.

Pick: Dartmouth