Pick: Princeton

DARTMOUTH at PRINCETON

Dartmouth. Dartmouth, Dartmouth, Dartmouth. You will lose this game by so many points. Your only chance is for Princeton-Harvard to go into 30 overtimes so you can play the ball boys. Princeton-Harvard will not go into 30 overtimes.

Pick: Princeton

YALE at CORNELL

At one point in the Ivy season, this game might have mattered. Yale and Cornell beat up on the dregs of the Ancient Eight enough that their supporters were deluded into thinking they might challenge for the title. Now they’re duking it out for third and (maybe!) a bid to the Collegeinsider.com Postseason Tournament, or, as it’s colloquially known, March Sadness.

Pick: Cornell

BROWN at COLUMBIA

You mean GameDay isn’t coming to this one? Someone get Rece Davis on the phone, pronto.

Pick: Columbia

HARVARD at PENN

I don’t believe that the “trap game” as a real, persistent phenomenon actually exists, but you can be sure the term will figure into the narrative for this contest. Win or lose, Harvard will have expended quite a bit of sweat and emotion the night before against Princeton, ostensibly making them more likely to underperform against a lesser Penn team. You think your hero is going to fall into that humdrum journalistic sludge? No, sir. The Crimson will win this game through superior basketball performance, not because Tommy Amaker fed them pregame bowls of fortitude stew.

Pick: Harvard

—Staff writer Andrew R. Mooney can be reached at mooney@college.harvard.edu. Follow him on Twitter @mooneyar.