“Being a mom has made me a better coach,” Jennifer said. “[I’m] evolving and growing, always learning something every day.”

LEGACY BEYOND ATHLETICS

Two decades of coaching have given both Weisses plenty to reflect on. One thing they are certain of is that it’s not the wins that have kept them in Cambridge for so long.

“The relationships we build are why we come to work every morning and those [relationships are developed] on a daily basis here,” Jay said. “If we’re on the short list of phone calls [for an athlete to say,] ‘Coach, I just got engaged’ or ‘Coach, I just got married’ or ‘Coach, my wife just had a baby,’ that’s pretty cool.”

The time here has also given them a chance to see how their coaching philosophies have evolved to what they are today.

“I think I’m more competitive than ever, but I’m doing it in a different way,” Jay said. “I don’t necessarily want the best wrestler for me, but I want someone who’s going to be great 20 years from now.”

Both the Weisses have seen their fair share of student-athletes come and go. What distinguishes the couple is the number of Harvard graduates that come back to them for help and advice after their college years. Given the way they treat their athletes as family on and off the court and the mats, there’s no surprise that this happens year in and year out.

“You see the same twinkle in their eyes about their players as you do about their children,” Ogbechie said. “I think it’s because they see something in [their players] beyond what anyone else does.”

The personal fulfillment they have gained at Harvard has kept the Weisses grounded, even when other job offers have come up.

“I’ve had opportunities to go other places,” Jennifer said. “We [have] a great thing going and I don’t want to go anywhere…. I think the [mixture of the] quality of life, being able to have a family…and being able to balance it all [is unique]. You can’t do that everywhere.”

With the first 20 plus years in the past, Jay sees no reason to stray from the current course.

“I think it’s pretty evident that we both feel the same way about this place,” he said. “We always say that it’s not a coincidence that I married a person who has the same ideal of making other people’s dreams come true…Now that we’ve been here so long, I can’t see us at another institution.”