(3) Your roommates need to be your best buddies.
Freshman year, there were two groups of people in my life--those who shared my passion to help the world and those I partied with (my roommates). I kept wondering, "Where are the people who do both?" But they were right there once I challenged myself to get to know them a little better. The people I love and value most became the ones who help kids and families with me, challenge and inspire me. They're the people who write me 10 e-mails a day, sign them "love" and remember to ask about my date last weekend or what's going on with my family. It was strange and wonderful to look across a bar table and see five fellow volunteers in a completely new context. I've realized that people surprise each other in negative and positive ways. At the same time, I remembered how terrific it can be to come home to roommates who are incredibly different, to avoid becoming immersed in my self-contained world.
(4) The evil you know is a whole lot less scary than the evil you don't.
After a while, I could no longer rationalize my fear of entering that scary senior floater realm, not if it meant the chance to have something much better. So I sucked up that pride and e-mailed a couple of people who've shared my House for nearly two years, girls I'd smiled at daily but never really talked to. I found people I was really excited about talking to. I also got two names that revealed nothing more than that slip I received before freshman year--a little scary but mostly exciting. They might be dorky, obnoxious or obsessive. Most likely, they'll be fun, tolerant and easygoing. No matter what, it's going to get better. We're beginning together, a little wiser this time, minus all that resentment, disappointment and tension.
Future roommates might not have similar partying styles or sleep schedules, might not share a desire to spend 40 hours a week building family programs or playing tennis. But they also might care about what you do, ask questions about it once in a while, or just give you a big hug when you want to celebrate or need to let go, prevent you from toppling over into emotional chaos. If you've had a semester of thinking that might be impossible, let yourself believe it might be possible. Ask yourself how great it could feel. If you floated.
Tiger Edwards '01 is a psychology concentrator in Winthrop House. Her column appears on alternate Wednesdays.