Any other year, Warren Beatty running for president would be marginally relevant news. People would laugh, brush it aside, and reinitiate their criticism of Pat Buchanan. But Warren, clever little devil that he is, waited until this year to throw his hat into the ring. Next year's presidential race looked like it was going to be the most thuddingly boring event in United States electoral history since--well, the last presidential election. Poor Al Gore nor George W. Bush. They're both qualified, but that doesn't seem to matter much anymore; they don't have nearly enough scandal in their lives to cause national uproar. But Warren! He's slept with more women than Ron Jeremy and pissed off more people than Jesse Ventura. Sure, he's probably another Reagan--a glamorous personality, absolutely no idea how to be president--but at least people will vote, right? Now the Reform Party just named Oprah Winfrey as a potential candidate and Oprah quickly distanced herself from the whole mess. But can you imagine that? Oprah vs. Warren? Man vs. Woman? Spirituality vs. Sexuality? Elegance vs. Shadiness? But we can only wish...
SOMAN'S SHORTS
The boy bands are getting greedy. Earlier last week, the Backstreet Boys initiated a legal tussle with Jive Entertainment, the same group that nurtured N'Sync. But now, N'Sync's former management is slapping them with a lawsuit. The stakes? If N'Sync loses, they'll lose the rights to the songs that now comprise their yet-unreleased second album. And to who will the rights revert back? Maybe...The Backstreet Boys. Can you imagine the BSB releasing N'Sync's second album as their third album? Entirely possible...We've just secured an interview with controversial director Kevin Smith. Look for that in an upcoming issue...After Helena Bonham Carter and Brad Pitt have an acrobatic sex session in Fight Club, Carter's character breathes a heavy sigh of relief and says, "That's the best f--- I've had since grade school." Now word has leaked out that the original line that was eventually cut was: "I want you to get my pregnant. I want to have your abortion." Oh, how I love witty dialogue... Michael Jackson just got another divorce. How sad. But then again, he never even lived with this wife. They lived in different cities, never saw each other, and Michael pretty much had full custody. And rumor has it that he's obsessed with the air his children breathe--literally. He has his servants check it for germs regularly and any toys which the children touch are promptly disposed of...And finally, as I was walking down Mt. Auburn Street yesterday, I saw a plastic bag floating in the wind. It spun in the air, inflated and deflated, and crashed and burned several times. I didn't find it all that profound.
Questions, comments? E-mail schainan@fas.