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More Than Three Lies

A Campus Tour Reveals What We've Been Missing

. Sections have "8 to 10 people in them."

. The MAC is "a wonderful workout facility that is open both early and late."

. Loker is a "student center with a cafeteria open till 11 p.m."

. The QRR is a "simple math reasoning test."

It seems as though a refined version of Harvard is being marketed. There are three possibilities. First, a secret administrative unit deep inside Mass. Hall keeps track of tour guides. Special privileges, like one hour of homework a night and personal advisors, are bestowed upon tour guides without their knowledge. In turn, these over-eager Harvard students share the only Harvard they know. Second, the same people who teach O.C.S.'s resume workshop write the tour script. Third, I'm just bitter over my financial aid package. Whatever the case, I suggest you take a tour and find out.

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Christopher M. Kirchhoff is a first-year in Holworthy Hall.

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