Blur the boundary between confidence and arrogance.

End opinionated statements with, "I could be wrong. But I'm probably not."

Be profound.

John L. Lester '99, Eliot House's resident arbiter of all things cool, states, "The key to coolness: enigmatic and persistent press coverage. Capacious FM quotes, all very opaque."

Be a man with a plan, preferably many.

One student elaborates, "On any given Saturday night, always make different plans with as many different groups of people as possible. Always show up late to each of these gatherings, sit down, chat and order yourself a drink, but when it comes, don't touch it. Soon after, apologize for having to leave so soon, but tell them how you had a great time with them, pay for your drink (which you didn't drink) and go meet the next bunch. It's all about being so busy that you can't even drink your drink."

Create your own vocabulary.

For examples:

gestalty: (gesh-TAL-tee) adj., resembling themes examined by the Gestalt school of psychotherapy

bigs: (bigz) pl. n., tough guys

shmusic: (SCHMOOZ-ik) n., low-key jazz played in the background of receptions and parties

Have innovative furniture.

Peter T. Wilson '99 says, "We have a red couch that weighs about five pounds, is made of Styrofoam and is stapled together. It sits in a corner of our common room, away from the other couches. But when you look at it, it's so red and it just draws you in." So it's cool? "Oh yes," he affirms.

Develop a nervous tic.

Nothing says "cool" faster than minor neurological impairments. For example, punctuate every fifth sentence you speak by twitching the muscle over the left side of your lip, like Elvis used to do. He was cool. Now you know why.FM