If I was a goalie, I think I would be smoking the pipes!

6) Odd-man rush--I have no idea.

7) Five-hole--Scoring through the legs of the goalie. You know, through the wickets, a nutmeg, etc.

I guess this one is kind of obvious, too. The goalie has got to shut the five-hole to avoid being an a--hole.

8) Sieve--Yet another term for the goalie. But this time the sieve is the goalie for the other team.

Shoot, I didn't even know what a real sieve was before I went to a hockey game. (And yet I'm at Harvard--figure that one out.)

9) Zamboni--The big machine that cleans the ice. I would have guessed Zamboni was a mobster, but hey, what do I know?

What I do know is this: I'm still a hockey novice, but after three more season of this stuff, I'll be a pro.

Then I'll be able to tell you what odd-man rushes are. I'll know all the rules for icing, and you won't be able to get anything through my five-hole.

Until then, I'll stick to cow tipping and watermelon seed spitting.