When I said we had to raise taxes in the State of the Union address, the Republicans just beamed, and the Democrats fidgeted. It's crazy. This Congress is politically comatose. All those political dinners have turned their hearts into chicken and their brains into mashed potatoes.

Sure, raising taxes is unpopular. But it's all in the packaging. If we say we're "reducing the deficit," the people are all ears.

Certainly we don't have to do anything to reduce the deficit. The deficit is going to go down anyway as the economy swings into growth. The beauty is that people are going to believe it's due to "Clinton fiscal conservatism." And with Al's pet BTU tax we get the anti-pollution cover too.

It's simple, it's beautiful. Keep up the appearance of activity on two different fronts, but make sure those actions cancel each other out. The economy grows on cue, we get credit, the deficit necessarily falls, we get credit. Maybe next term I'll appoint you Attorney General.

3. Upcoming issues: GATT and NAFTA. We'll sign them, but those are Bush's. Don't do a thing for us. Let the old man take a bow--then get back to our game plan.

The focus has to be health care. This is a tough one. We'll have to send out some trial balloons. Don't you do that--pass the buck to Shalala. Watch out for the AARP. They're already rumbling about the Social Security changes.

But when we finally go public, you're our point man. It's campaign mode again, Hillary. It's babies and holding hands and soft and cuddly. You're the First Lady--play to that. Emotion works well on TV; as you know, I choke up every chance I get.

Go alone to the Senate hearings. That'll get the people on your side. The senators will be boorish, prodding, inconsiderate. Good. React. Show pain. This is Anita Hill II. The public will blow up at the Senate and embrace you, ending the "Hillary issue" once and for all.

4. They warned us that this would be tough. But we've faced tough challenges in our lives. Yale Law School was tough. Marriage has been tough. Jogging is a pain in the butt.

But politics is too easy for words.

5. Free for lunch Thurs.?

Jacques E. C. Hymans '94 refuses to reveal the source of this White House leak.