I don't understand men.

February 14, 1985 (seventh grade)

Dear Diary,

Today was Valentine's Day. No social events of note, but in health class we're studying the atria of the human heart. I suppose that's Valentinesy, Somewhat.

Susie mentioned a gathering last weekend where they played a parlor game, "Two Minutes in the Closet." Two minutes with a boy, I gathered from her description. "Two minutes for what?" I asked her. "For talking? Did you have to talk for two minutes?" Susie just raised her eyebrows.

February 14, 1990 (twelfth grade)

Dear Diary,

Today was Valentine's Day. I attended school, came home, did homework, and now I'm going to retire.

February 14th will be simply lovely in college, I'm sure.

February 14, 1991 (first-year student at Harvard)

Dear Diary,

I received a rose from an admirer; a boy. This is the first day of the rest of my life.

February 14, 1992 (sophomore at Harvard)

Dear Diary,

This is the first Valentine's Day that I've had a significant other. We exchanged gifts, and I realized how happy I was to be in a healthy, mature, adult relationship.