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Gifts for One Thousand Dollars

Tired of Trying to Meet 10-Dollar Limits on Secret Santa Presents? We've Gone Searching the Square for....

Not exotic enough? Want to have Michael Jackson's private zoo, without the trouble of having to clean up? Patronize the arts--buy a pair of paper-mache penguins for $505 each, or a 4-foot tall paper mache black panther from Mexico, $1,250 from Baak, 35a Brattle Street. Alternately, from Boston artist Doug Finch, a four-legged industrial polymer resin "Ooloo" pitcher ($750) from Artsmart, in the Shops by Harvard Yard. These are popular items, says the store manager: Victorian advertising heavy paper drums, which can be used as tables, (buy three to seven of them with $1,000), or false hide-inside leather-bound books (10 to 76 per $1,000) at Papermint, in the Shops by Harvard Yard.

A steal at exactly $1,000 and ideal for a dorm room is a 20 year-old southwest Persian tribal rug from Chiraz, 5 by 8, pile weaving; or semi-antique Kilims ($995) and scatter-rugs ($895) with natural dyes from Church Street Rugs, 28 Church Street.

Lastly, flowers give that final holiday touch to any home; for a thousand dollars, why not invest in 250 poinsetta stems (they may have multiple blooms), or 500 boxes of mistletoe (if you go with this option, consider 115 ounces of the Body Shop's Kiwi lip balm, 1440 Mass. Ave.), 166.66 pounds of holly or 50 Christmas trees, all from the Brattle Square Florists, 31 Brattle Street?

FOR BOOKWORMS

More bang for your buck: give the Harvard Coop's Joe Connors your business, and take advantage of the $2,000 discount on the 1992 Heritage Limited Edition set of The New Encylopaedia Britannica? Thirty-two volumes of padded leather omniscience is $999 from the Coop. For those with more interesting tastes, $1,100 will buy you the Complete Works of the Marquis de Sade in French, bound in gold-embossed black leather with red endpapers and a red silk book mark from the Pangloss Bookshop, 65 Mt. Auburn Street. Also at Pangloss, a first-edition first-state copy of Poe's Tales, at "considerably more than $1,000."

For those who fancy themselves budding youngwriters, buy six of the pens that Hillary RodhamClinton uses: the Parker blue marble duofoldrollerball, at the Coop. For comparison, $1,000buys only one-tenth of the official pen of theWhite House, the solid 18K gold "Presidential"fountain pen.

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THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG BY THE CHIMNEYWITH CARE

This little stocking-stuffer will organize yourlife: for a thousand dollars, buy the Apple NewtonProfessional Communications System ($899) and tworechargable batteries ($49 each, from the Coop.Too urbane for you? Learningsmith at 25 BrattleStreet writes, "Nothing brings a family togetherfaster than a quick volcanic eruption. Thispopular kit has everything needed to build avolcano and, with the addition of a few commonhousehold ingredients, bring its lava flowbubbling to life." The holidays are a sharingseason; why not raze the entire neighborhood tothe ground and bring everybody together with 91volcanoes, for $1,000? Also from Learningsmith, 55stone carving kits, 40 Zen rock gardens or 33"Dimensional Man" 3-D paper male models.

Stuffed animals have a way of warming thehearts of those who receive them: set yourrecipient's heart ablaze by buying out Calliope's(33 Brattle Street) entire collection of oversizedanimals: Kodiak bear ($300), Koko gorilla ($385)and Mickey Mouse ($150). What could one getfor$1,000 at Calliope? "Koko and a half" was thereply from the store manager.

IT WAS A NICE THOUGHT

A penny for your thoughts, so 100,000 thoughtsfor $1,000. Knowing President Clinton's salary,give your loved one 43.8 hours of his time. Becharitable: buy 1,000 copies of "Spare Change."Pay off your friend's 11-year overdue book, oryour friend's 4,000 overdue books for one day. Buyand mail 1,351 Christmas cards within the UnitedStates. Attend 166 a cappella concerts.

So there you have it. An eclectic eccentricextravaganza of holiday gifts, ready for thetaking. Of course, you could just give cash. Butthen, that'd be tacky, wouldn't it?

SoRelle B. Braun contributed to the researchfor this article.$1,000 will buy you 43.8 hours of this man'stime.

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