Secretary of Commerce

MARTIN ESCOBARI--New Bolivian presidentof Harvard Student Agencies can be seen smiling inthe center of the 1993 Let's Go series. We're surehe'd do a good job doing whatever it is that theSecretary of Commerce is supposed to do.

Secretary of Transportation

TIM PESTA--Manager of theHarvard-Radcliffe Shuttle Bus Service. Wouldrevamp the nation's bus service industry withcramped rattley red buses playing trash techno-popat maximum volume.

Alternate: CASE KIM--King Shuttle Buscaptain, known for enthusiasm and yummy bikerspandex pants.

Secretary of Agriculture

MICHAEL P. BERRY--Friend to the friedpotato(e) farmer in Idaho and the free rangegristle chicken people in Peoria, thisonce-messianic director of dining services hasstarted serving us shit, He's due for a change ofcareer, and what better placement than a powerfulgovernment post. Let's get creativity like "Breadand Cheese Bar" and "Make Your Own Sundae" intothe upper levels of our federal government.

Alternate: TOMMY of Tommy's Lunch.Another dispenser of bad potato products.

Secretary of the Interior

JOHN DUVIVIER--Crunchy crunchy leader ofthe First-Year Outdoor Program and Head TF forJustice. Neato enviro glasses. Sizeable yetrefined frame. Knows New England wilderness andthe first-year psyche. Would lead Bill, Al and thegang on a week-long pre-Inauguration Week bondingtrip in the back country.

Alternate: BRETT HUFF, savior of MotherEarth and member of PBH's environmental committee.

Secretary of Health and Human Services:

JAKE MATLOCK and PAULMAGWENE--Co-directors of Harvard's PeerContraceptive Counselors would move to Washingtonand throw condoms of all colors, textures andflavors to the Inauguration Day parade crowds. Aboon for safe sex. Pat Robertson will have a cow.A national 900-number dispensing sex tips forthose over 18 will help erase the deficit.

Secretary of Housing and UrbanDevelopment:

JAMIE HARMON--As a first-year, thisHarvard elite Democrat and U.C. member founded theCommittee Against Randomization to retain studentchoice of upperclass House. Three years, hundredsof meetings and dining hall announcements later,his efforts have been in vain. A determined butgrating campaigner, Harmon would be the perfectfollow-up to Jack Kemp.