Great practitioner: Harvard football Coach Joe Restic.

The `Thank You' Speech: This speech is given by the coach who believes he is a central figure in his community. Either that, or King of the World. After the game, he thanks the community--not for the win (his boys took care of that)--but for its support. He gives a brief description of his team's efforts on the field, and then launches into a lengthy peroration, giving credit to everyone from the team mascot to the mayor.

Great practitioner: Cornell football coach Maxie Baughan.

The `Do You Remember?' Speech: This speech is just the coach's vehicle to spin off anecdotes about anything that strikes his fancy. Ask him about the touchdown his halfback scored in the second quarter, and he'll tell you about how his granddaughter lost her front teeth and complained that the Tooth Fairy didn't come through with enough cash.

This coach is a stand-up comedian. By the time the speech is through, you've forgotten everything about the game--including the score--and even what sport is was. Losing coaches often find this speech very effective, too.

Great practitioner: Ronald Reagan.