Eve: Because when we ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil we would suddenly acquire the knowledge of good and evil which we weren't supposed to have, right?

Seraph: Right.

Eve: Well then, how can you blame us for doing something evil when we should have known enough to do something good which was not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil before we ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil which was the only way we could have gotten the knowledge of good and evil that we would have needed to know enough not to eat from it? If you know what I mean.

Seraph: I think the woman has a point.

Eve: I mean the burglary and eating of the TKGE was no isolated event. I think we have to see it in the total context of the previous week and a half. Without trying to minimize the importance of this incident, there was a general climate of immorality that was rampant in the Garden up to that point. Adam and I were running around naked and doing a whole bunch of things that would hardly be classified today as family entertainment. When we wanted to sleep, we slept. When we wanted to eat, we ate. When we wanted to...uh...get better acquainted, we got better acquainted. There was no "sweat of the brow" stuff, no "thorns and thistles." And you should have seen the other animals. I mean, talk about disrespect, talk about feeling above the law, talk about permissivism...

Seraph: Excuse me, Eve. Now let's assume for a moment that the events occurred as you have told us. I'll even grant you your points about the Separation of Powers, prior knowledge, and the general climate of immorality in the Garden. But surely the events that followed the burglary and eating of the TKGE demonstrate conscious and deliberate wrong-doing and an attempt on both your and Adam's parts to hide

Hank Greenspan is a research assistant at the Graduate School of Education and a freelance writer. the facts from the Highest-up. I refer, of course, to what has become known as the "Fig Leaf" episode. Would you please tell us what you know of that.

Eve: I'll try. Adam was on about his second bite of Caesar salad. Everything was quiet and peaceful, and he was looking at me with that "Wow!" expression of his. Then, all of a sudden, this really crazy look comes over his face. He jumped up spilling salad all over the place. Then he just ran off into the trees. In a few minutes he came running back with a bunch of fig leaves in his hand. Then he starts yelling at me, "For God's sake, Eve, get your butt off the ground and put on these fig leaves!"

Seraph: Those were his exact words?

Eve: Yeah. He was holding the fig leaves in my face and yelling, "Put these on, for God's sake! Cover-up! Cover-up! This is the cover-up!"... Whoops, did I say that?

Seraph: Evie, Baby, that's all we need to know... Call the next witness