Jarvis began the first session, and every one after that, by asking if everyone had meditated that night. Yes, everyone had. "How was it?" he asked one girl in the first row. Well, she had been distracted by other thoughts, and by a record player in the room next to hers. Jarvis nodded knowingly, and said that outside noise, and thoughts, and feelings would not harm meditation. "How about if the speed of the mantra changes?" one fellow asked. Jarvis was pleased. "If the mantra changes speed, that is good," he answered. Another boy stood up and was really worried--he had forgotten his mantra completely during meditation! To everyone's surprise, and possible dismay, Jarvis smiled encouragingly. "Forgetting the mantra shows right meditation."

The lectures became a game at times. Jarvis quite plainly was not going to lose his cool, and the more imaginative questioners rose to the challenge.

Better at Ping-Pong

A few people had fallen asleep. Yep, that was good meditation.

One girl was a waitress, and her tips had increased yesterday. "Sure," said Jarvis, "that's a result of meditation, very definitely. The environment responds to the meditator."

A YOUNG fellow got up and explained that his ping-pong game had improved. Certainly, came the reply. One's coordination frequently got better.

"From time to time," said one anxious fellow, "I have the feeling that my head is about to burst open."

Jarvis didn't even blink. "When that happens, maybe you should ease off the process," he replied. Everyone laughed, politely, but incredulously.

I can think of only one time when Jarvis almost lost a volley. A solemn, bespectacled fellow stood up and asked, "How about the cones and rods that discharge electricity behind one's closed eyelids when there is a light source above one? Will it disappear as meditation goes on? In other words, is there any relation between meditation and the phenomena known as astral projection?"

A long silence. Jarvis stared blankly out over the audience. "Astral projection?" he muttered. Another long stillness. Then a beautiful recovery: "No, no that has no relation, that's too superficial to consider," he said briskly.

Jarvis at times had no idea what he was talking about, but many listeners didn't seem to mind. The net effect of the lectures was to provide a "revival" atmosphere. We had all paid our $35, we all wanted meditation to work in the worst way, we were buoyed up by each other's hopes and desires to believe, and Jarvis patted our heads and said that everything was going just fine. Things looked pretty good.

The trouble was that the situation looked worse the more I meditated. Those half-hours were, and still are, pleasant and restful, but so are naps. I was scrupulous about meditating before, not after dinner, I did not try to force any particular feeling; and I "came out" of meditation slowly--three pointers Jarvis gave us for best results. The first two weeks were really a new experience. When I meditated, the echo of my mantra vibrated through my consciousness; my limbs felt heavy and deliciously drugged, while my mind remained alert. Emerging from meditation was akin to emerging from deep sleep, except that when my body slept my brain frolicked.

Osmosis

Then somehow the effect wore off; I don't pretend to know why. I think I began to take Jarvis at his word--I permitted other thoughts to pass freely through my mind. And since I did give my awareness free play, after a while the other thoughts--books, girls--pushed my monotonous mantra out of mind most of the time. Yet "forcing" the mantra was the practice we were warned against most. In any case, I find it impossible to return to the old technique.

After two months, I was worried. SIMS refuses to admit that meditation won't work for anyone, but they do train meditation "checkers" who can diagnose any minor problems that might be temporarily impeding success. So I made an appointment for a check-up. I went to a Back Bay apartment and was checked by a girl in her bedroom--that is, we meditated together there in the dark.