This Halloween weekend, what dwelled in the bowels of the Science Center was not some ghoul or poltergeist but something far more fearsome: the Harvard College Stand-Up Comic Society. Here are five of the best jokes from their show.

5. I think little person's the word. I know in the past it's been midget or dwarf—I just don't want to offend anybody. You never know if there's one in the audience. Cause, you can't see them. – Sierra "Nickname TBD" Katow '16

4. I'm in the Voice Actor's Guild, and the Italian National Alliance, and now I have to tell everyone that I'm in the VAGINA. – Alex "Sconez" Iascone '16

3. I was going to make a joke about Frida Kahlo, but I thought it would be too highbrow. – "Holy" Roman "Empire" Berens '16

2. I experimented with drugs at a very early age. I was at a concert and somehow got backstage, and found the band and they were shooting up. They saw me standing there and asked if I wanted a hit, so I said yes. That's the story of how I did heroin with The Wiggles. – Aaron "Jack" Aceves '15

1. I'm very confused myself. The other day, I went to the wrong bank. I had a tough time explaining to the teller why the deposit envelope was filled with semen. – Daniel "The Marvel" Fitzpatrick '15

CORRECTION: October 28, 2012.

An earlier version of the Oct. 28 post mistated the official name of the Harvard College Stand-Up Comic Society.