Stephen W. Stromberg ’05
Editorial Chair
Dean Kirby will move to phase out undergraduates from the College after realizing during Spring Break that administration is a lot easier without all the riff-raff. It’ll be good for graduate students, too!

Benjamin J. Toff '05
Editorial Chair
While we are away this Spring Break—just like the last two years—this upcoming week will bring warm, sunny weather to Cambridge, which will vanish as soon as we return.

Morgan R. Grice '06
Associate Editorial Chair
Reality will set in for the unfortunate first-years who’ve been Quadded: Cambridge winters are about to take on a new—and frigid—meaning.

Travis R. Kavulla
Associate Editorial Chair
Now that Sen. Zell Miller, D-Ga., has formed “Democrats for Bush,” he’ll finally bridge the gap with Southerners who feel bad voting Republican but want to deep down inside.

Margaret M. Rossman '06
Associate Editorial Chair
March Madness will continue to earn its name as Nevada beats Vanderbilt in the NCAA finals, causing office pools nationwide to implode, as pots must be split forty ways.

Simon W. Vozick-Levinson
Associate Editorial Chair
President Summers will make the most of his “Spring Break: Sao Paulo” by winning MTV’s “Say What Karaoke” with a lip-synched version of Mario Winans’ “I Don’t Wanna Know.” Thanks a lot, globalization.

Timothy J. McGinn
Guest Predictor: Sports Chair
The WWF, riding high off its successful tag-team with the IOP, attempts to lay the smackdown on homelessness. But the campaign will go awry, leaving an infirmary filled with chair-bashed street persons and sledgehammered panhandlers.