Looking at a pre-school photo of myself circa 1988, I’m struck in particular by two things. First, it seems there was a time in my life when I actually had two distinct eyebrows without plucking. More importantly, though, is the red hair: it’s a long story involving ear wax and hydrogen peroxide but I won’t bore you with the details.

And while I’d like to reassure you that this was the extent of my style transgressions, I submit for your judgment the following: in fifth grade I wore turtlenecks every day.

In seventh grade, my body and haircut apparently decided it would be hot to cop Jerry O’Connell’s Stand by Me look. I cuffed my pants before Gwyneth Paltrow made it borderline acceptable. I wore my shirts tucked into my tapered jeans without a belt.

But sometimes, even when the floor-length mirror of today doesn’t offer me consolation, I visit the archives of equally fabulous celebrities and their past of fashion faux pas.

Let’s begin our journey in 1990, the year that saw the debut of a TV movie called Camp Cucamonga. Although it boasted a cast with the likes of DJ Tanner, Steve Urkel, and Winnie and Paul from The Wonder Years, one star clearly outshone the rest: a young Jennifer Aniston “Wait!” you object. “I’ve seen that movie ten times and Jennifer Aniston is not in it.” So sorry, my friend, but that’s her as camp counselor Eva Schector. It’s an easy mistake to make; after all, it’s apparent from the start that at that early point in Jen’s career, MIT engineers were not being commissioned to calculate the precise hair curvature that would optimize her perceived facial width.

Forget what you know about Rachel Green: Eva Schector’s hair is big, brown, with bangs, and—proceed with caution—she has flyaways.

Now, before you’re overcome with disbelief, stop for a moment and reflect.

Just between you and me, are you feeling any better about your uglies? Maybe a touch?

There’s more where that came from.

Perhaps you’ve been perusing fashion magazines recently and have stumbled across a spread of Jennifer Lopez, awash in Louis Vuitton and sexually submissive male models. If you haven’t, here’s a synopsis: her calves and hamstrings are as taut as her leather skirt. Her cheekbones look sharp enough to cut diamonds. She makes my stomach feel like a tilt-a-whirl. In a good way.

But there was a time when the tilt-a-whirl feelings just nauseated me, a time I like to call In Living Color.

Before there was J.Lo, there was Jennifer Lopez, Fly Girl.

As a dancer on the sketch comedy, she sported a bob haircut, tacky makeup and a pasty complexion—a far cry from the silky hair, ultra-bronzed skin and neutral-toned makeup that define her image today. Somehow, seeing those old clips of her dancing on Before They Were Rock Stars goes a lot further in proving how real J. Lo is than any high-gloss video with Ja Rule.

Now, lest you think that the fugly-to-fabulous phenomenon is confined solely to women, I invite you to a final stop in the archives. In 1992, 11 year-old Justin Randall took to Ed McMahon’s stage on Star Search.

Though his precocious charisma was admirable, Justin made the egregious mistake of belting out a country song.