DOG/STAR? YOU DECIDE

Scary headline of the week: "Keanu Reeves Sings The Carpenters." Apparently, Happy Ending, the upcoming album from his band Dogstar, features a cover of the Carpenters' "Superstar." I shouldn't be allowed to read such things before lunch. In any case, a superb cover version by Sonic Youth already exists, on the If I Were a Carpenter tribute album. And then there's always the original. All together now: "Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?"

BANANAS

I got to see Woody Allen! I got to see Woody Allen! So what if that has nothing to do with music (although his use of Gershwin songs in Manhattan was a lovely touch for a lovely movie)? I'll be Soman for a paragraph and use my column to talk about anything pop-cultural... speaking of which, does anyone have the "Party of Five" finale on tape? My VCR was set to tape "Dawson's Creek."

Didn't "Dawson" used to showcase new songs? Didn't every episode end with a voiceover going "this episode of Dawson's Creek featured music by" such-and-such a group? I think I remember one episode that had music by Letters to Cleo, which was a pretty decent group to showcase. What happened to all that?

MMM, MMM, BOP

The Hanson brothers have a new album out. Who knew that they'd become the elder statesmen of boy bands? Who knew they'd be the only boy band to actually be a band? (See that picture of their lovely piano.)

Before I get another complaint about being completely biased against boy bands, I should mention that I don't have anything against purely manufactured groups. I really did like Take That before they broke up, for instance. I just don't think the Backstreet Boys are any good. And don't even get me started on 'NSync.

Aside: who is buying the Cypress Hill album? How is it number 4 on the Billboard charts?

BETTER OFF

Since we're on the subject of bad music, I've noticed that DJ Jurgen and Alice Deejay's execrable European hit "Better Off Alone" has finally hit American radio, thus returning to torture me for another few weeks (it was played everywhere in Singapore when I was there during winter break). The song has turned some ears obviously, since I've been getting requests to play it in my DJ sets. How much do I hate it and its basic Eurotrance-by-numbers beat? How many words for "cheese" are there? Bleu cheese, cheddar, Brie, Camembert, Parmesan. And I haven't opened my thesaurus yet.

POP GOES THE WEASEL