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In the (K)now

A SPECIAL BEN-NETH EDITION OF IN THE (K)NOW!

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TREND-O-RAMA: BEN AFFLECK SIGHTINGS

Up until last Saturday, I had avoided certain rites of passage at Harvard. I had never peed on John Harvard (I keep imagining the poor Japanese tourists who have no idea what they're getting into when they kiss the statue's foot for good luck), never had sex in the Widener stacks (if you're gonna have sex in a library, at least do it in Langdell-the lighting is more erotic), and I'd never been to the Grille. Never been to the Grille, you say! My perennial excuse: "Um, helllo. I'm way too trendy and way too cutting edge for a Cambridge sports bar" (translation: I don't have a good enough I.D.).So I stayed away. Until Saturday.

Actually, the Grille was exactly what I expected-lots of freshmen (I saw my whole Ec 10 section), some extremely sketchy senior girls, and uh, the entire [insert sport here] team. "Sometimes Matt Damon and Ben Affleck come here to hang out," a friend chimed in as we entered. "Yeah, maybe pre-Good Will Hunting. No movie star would be caught dead in here," I retorted just as I got poked in the eye with a greasy buffalo wing. But what do you know, when my vision clears, I see another greasy buffalo-in this case, Mr. Affleck in the corner of the bar, chatting it up with Sarah Ryan and Jennie Tarr. Now don't get your panties in a bunch, Sarah and Jennie fans, I'm not going to wail on them. In fact, I think the girls are rather astute for figuring out that if Ben was lame enough to be at the Grille on a Saturday night (doesn't he have a premiere to go to?), he'd certainly be up for some chit-chat with a couple of cute Harvard undergrads.

In fact, I even wanted to saunter up to him myself and calmly explain why I think Gwyneth is a boob and a poor choice for a mate, but a field hockey girl accidentally elbowed me in the jaw and by the time I recovered, they were ushering the crowd out of the bar.

Through the rumor mill, I hear that a group of girls accompanied him back to his suite at the Charles and eventually they all ended up at the Fly. Uh-huh, not only did Ben stoop to being a Grille rat, he also wanted to check out our final-club scene. Sigh. Didn't Ben Affleck used to be cool? This is so indicative of a larger problem.

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