Dear Norma,

My boyfriend in on a diet, I think. He only eats lettuce.

Normally he just has to put up with a lot of comments like "you know, that's mostly water." But with Valentine's Day coming up, there's a new problem. Everyone knows February 14 is a day for Giving Godiva chocolates. But will my boyfriend accept them? Nougat Lover in North

Dear Nougat,

Your boyfriend sounds like a puzzle. It sounds as if he may, indeed, be dieting, or perhaps "The Carving Board" simply does not agree with him. In any case, I think your boyfriend will respond to a box of chocolates in one of two ways.

Possibility #1: "Oh, how sweet of here. I'll just send these to my mother."

Possibility #2: "oh, how sweet of you. Stand back, baby, I got a date with Lady Godiva."

Possibility #3: "Oh, thank God, food!"

In the event of possibility #3, inform your boyfriend of Harvard Dining Service's new menu cards with nutritional information. No one at Harvard need live that way, ever again.

Hey Norma,

Let met tell you about a fella I know with a hot little number of a girlfriend. She likes "Grape Nuts" for breakfast. That's right, he has breakfast with her. Norma, that fella is me.   Capt. XY, Esq.

Dear Capt. XY,

Oh.

This column is not a "show and tell" forum, Captain. Fish stories may be acceptable among your "crew," but not here. "FM" stand for "Family Magazine," mister.

Something tells me, however, that we'll be hearing a lot more from the Cap'n.