Poor Santa just called us with news you won't like:
Elves' Union #240 decided to strike.
But don't you despair--to the rescue we go,
Delivering gifts to the people we know.
Before we embark on much-needed vacation,
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We offer some loot to the administration.
To Jeremy Knowles, now a British commander,
We wish that your budget could be a bit grander.
To Jerry Green, provost, good luck with your plans
To get all the turf-fighting deans to hold hands.
A unified Harvard? One dean we can't snub:
John McArthur receives his own platinum tub.
To dear President Neil, our fundraiser deluxe,
We hope you can round up a few billion bucks.
O Captain! Our Captain! We don't intend spite,
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