Forget Animal House. Residential life for Harvard first-years does not involve frat houses caked with years of party residue.

Nor are there any immaculate sorority houses with teddy bear wallpaper and plush pink carpets. And there are very few generic college dorms, with long communal hallway, box-like cinderblock bedrooms and bathrooms shared by the entire floor.

Harvard is different. In large, that's because most dorms in and around Harvard Yard are old--many date back more than 100 years.

Most first-year dorms are also designed around an entryway system. This means each dorm consists of several unconnected stairwells, with only two rooms per floor.

Some students try to pretend Harvard is just like every other college by calling the entryways "vertical hallways." This is deceptive logic, though, since climbing stairs to the fifth floor of Matthews is significantly tougher than gliding effortlessly down a normal dorm hall.

The entryway system has its ups and downs. The rooms are more likely to be private and quiet, a boon if you're into a sedentary lifestyle. On the other hand, casual dropin visits to anyone above the third floor are bound to seem a little contrived. Some find the entryway setup picturesque and charming. Others are less gracious, grumbling that a social life determined by stairwell is both tiring and stifling.

It's hard to categorize first-year living across the board, though. The effort to preserve an authentic, Kennedys-and-Roosevelts-slept-here feel in the dorms has created wide discrepancies in room size and quality. Three months from now you could be showing your quarters to a photographer from House Beautiful. Or you could be consulting a shrink about your newly-acquired claustrophobia.

Massachusetts Hall is the quintessential historic dorm. Dating from 1720, it's the oldest academic building in the country. Now, it's the 10 Downing St. of Harvard Yard: the offices of the President and the central administration occupy the building's first two floors.

This means you may find the occasional diplomatic motorcade stationed outside your front door. Unfortunately, it also means thatVIP guests seeyourrooms when Harvarddecides to show them a typical student lifestyle.Mass Hall residents are rumored to be handpickedby some mysterious criteria that some how qualifythem as model Harvardians.

Not all Yard dorms have such impressive histories, however. Built in 1974, Canaday is the newest Yard residence. This massive dorm consists of seven rectangular buildings located in the northeast corner of the Yard.

Canaday is ugly. its functional, housingproject architecture won't be featured on anyHarvard postcards. But most Canaday rooms havethree bedrooms for four people in addition to acommon room. That means each student can enjoy asingle for one semester.

Thayer Hall, south of Canaday, is anice, fairly nondescript dorm. About 20 peopleshare each of Thayer's hallway bathrooms. Thayeradds a new twist to Harvard' entryway system: itshallways are actually social.

Thayer is embroiled in a stupid but fun rivalrywith nearly Holworthy Hall. Legend has itthat the dispute originated when Holworthy wasbuilt on Thayer's polo ground, or vice-versa,depending on who you ask. The rivalry usuallysurfaces in "Holworthy Sucks.!"-"Thayer Swallows!"shouting bouts. At times, the conflict escalatesto more serious warfare involving water fights andhostages.

The living is easy in Holworthy, perched at thetop of the North Yard, its four-person suitesfeature large common rooms and two bedrooms. EachHolworthy floor has two connected quads, whichlends the dorm a social air. Residents ofHolworthy's east entry get a special bonus. Acapella groups, drama clubs and orchestras vie forHolworthy East's prime window space, hoping tohang banners out of the first-year rooms in returnfor free tickets. At the opposite end of the Yard,much-covetedGrays also features largecommon rooms with scenic views. Wood floors andprivate bathrooms make this dorm the mostluxurious in the Yard.

Stoughton and Hollis,thealmost-identical North Yard dorms, offer one hugeroom for two people. Hollis andStoughton roommates either become bosombuddies fast or spend the year aching to slit eachother's throats. In any case, they get to knoweach other well.

Tucked away behind these two dorms are small,oft-forgottenMower and Lionel. Onlyabout 70 people live back here in the secluded,recently re-landscaped courtyard. Lionel and Mowersuites have large common rooms with beautiful woodfloors, and most residents live in singles forpart of the year. Some residents of these intimatedorms say the close-knit experience is nurturingand caring. Others complain that the familyatmosphere can grow a bit too suffocating.