I was running behind. One of my Norwegian rower buddies had caught me in Sanders and wouldn't let go of my hair until I agreed to deliver his two recruits to Emerson Hall after class. So afterwards, I had to deal with these Brobdingagian teens who were full of questions about the architecture and curriculum. I got them lumbering over to Emerson as quickly as I could then sprinted to the Crimson building, just in time to hook up my recording equipment to the phone. Did you know that you can buy a phone tap at Radio Shack for six bucks? In fact, you can buy the basic components of a detonation mechanism there for less than you'd pay for a core class sourcebook. And if you need special parts, they'll order them. Ever wonder about that? As it turns out, our friendly electronics store is little more than a supply front for a consortium of paramilitary organizations. Just thought you should know. 12:30 on the ultraprecise Tag Heuer diving watch with scratch-resistant sapphire crystal and unidirectional bezel. Time to call Mark. After informing him per FCC regulation that I was recording our conversation, I began the interview.

So, how much of Et Tu, Babe is tongue in cheek? I, mean, is this you?

I think, in a sense, it's all me, if you scrape away the comic hyperbole of the book. All the fantasies and all the delusions about notoriety and celebrity in the book, although exaggerated vastly, I do have. And I think all people in our generation, or the generations that grew up in the '50s, '60s, '70s, '80s and '90s. I think everyone to some degree or another has been inculcated with these, since we live in a society that's obsessed with celebrity. I think all those are within me, quite truly. I've made comic use by taking them to exponential extremes, but I think I hold within myself the basis of most of what you will read in Et Tu, Babe.

Although you hyperbolize to the extent that the hyperbole takes on a life of its own.

Yeah. I don't merely hyperbolize. I think it's hyperbole to the third or fourth power. I'm not content with merely hyperbolizing. I leave that to the lesser writers of hyperbole.

The megalomaniac--are you celebrating him or making fun of him?

I think that these things exist in all of us, and that it might be a good idea to take a better look at it, and to be more honest about it. I think that people tend to be very disingenuous, and very prissy in a way, in attacking the way, for instance, that media manipulates language, in the way that the advertising industry has taken over aspects of our culture that we had tried to keep pristine. And yet we don't acknowledge the ways in which we use these same kinds of strategies and tactics and mechanisms to impose our fantasies of ourselves on each other, in very personal ways, in very intimate ways, in familiar ways. You know what I mean?

Well, could you give an example?

You know, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we have a certain persona that we have concocted for ourselves. And we try to fix our hair, and dress, and have a certain facial expression that fits that model that we've cooked up for ourselves. Then, we need to use various ways of imposing that image of ourselves on other people. And it's a kind of marketing. It's a kind of personal marketing. We tend to be careful in the way we organize the stories we tell each other the stories that we tell each other at the end of the day about what happened to us, so that the narration of our day is consistent with the image that we have formulated for ourselves. You know, tones of voice, etc., etc. So we're walking-talking-marketing strategies geared to promulgating this version of ourselves that we've cooked up by the time we're 18, 19, 20. You understand?

Yeah. So, why should college kids shell out to buy your book?

I think it's a crucial moment. This book has appeared at a time that it's most profoundly needed by people. First of all, people are about to make a big decision, aren't they, in this election. I think that the convoluted folds of people's brains are filled with some sort of gook and glop. It's not possible for them to think clearly. And I think that laughter, the kind of laughter that my book generates, will serve as a kind of dental floss for the convoluted folds of people's brains so that they are able to make a perspicacious choice on November third. It's never been more important. I mean, 17 dollars is nothing.

So it's a political thing?

No, it's a medical thing. It's...how seriously do you take me?

Not too...I mean, not, not, not nearly as seriously as The New York Times takes you, I guarantee.

I'm not going to take any of your questions seriously now.