I got a letter yesterday from a Harvard sports fanatic. Unlike most sports loonies--who like anything from baseball to badminton--my correspondent only relishes Crimson hockey. Men's and women's ice hockey and women's field hockey. Nothing else.

He's so bored during the spring (intramural street hockey doesn't quite do it for him) that he sits around his house and pours over Harvard hockey statistics.

The Red Sox have just opened their season, but this fan isn't interested. He would rather figure out Lane MacDonald's goals-per game average while on the road in cities west of Cambridge but east of Detroit.

The Celtics are about to enter the playoffs, but this fan just doesn't care. He's too busy exploring the cosmological significance of Char Joslin's 2.22 points-per-game average in ice hockey and her .22 p.p.g. average in field hockey.

Professional wrestling has never been better and more action-packed, but don't ask this fan to turn his attention to king Kong Bundy's reign of pain. He's been too wrapped up in the strange and wonderful burden of choosing. Harvard's 1986-'87 All-Hockey team.

He writes:

"I know the concept may strike you as absurd, but because of my unique position as a fanatical observer of Harvard hockey, I felt it was my duty to present the first (so far as I know) All-Hockey Team.

"Some of my selections have already earned honors in their respective hockey arenas and playing fields. Others are completely unheralded. They all deserve recognition for their brilliant--and sometimes bizarre--achievements."

Who am I to argue? Here are his picks:

Left Wing: Forget his 37 goals, his 1.97 points-per-game average and his ECAC Tournament MVP Award. Men's hockey forward Lane MacDonald makes my team because of his smile. The kid's got a grin as broad as Detroit, I mean Duluth.

He also makes the All-Hockey squad because of his flashy moves. MacDonald is a hotdog without the dog. He can whip a puck into the net from anywhere on the ice. And he comes from Mequon, Wisc., which certainly makes the All-Hockey All-City Team.

Center: Allen Bourbeau is good (23 goals, 34 assists for 57 points and a 1.72 p.p.g. average) but Julie Sasner is great (27-19--46 for 2.00 p.p.g.). Both live in North House, but Sasner really puts Quadrophobia in the psyches of opposing goaltenders. After laboring on lackluster teams for her first two years, the junior helped lead the Crimson to a 10-0 Ivy record and the league tournament title.

Right wing: Please explain how someone can lead her team in scoring-recording twice as may goals as the second leading-scorer--and earn only a piddling Ivy League Player of the Week award for her efforts?

As a freshman forward on the field hockey team, Sharon Landau scored eight goals--six more than last year's team leaders and five more than Cindi Ersek, this year's runner-up. Landau seemed like a perfect candidate for Ivy League Rookie of the Year. The least she deserved was an All-Ivy Honorable Mention.

But no, Landau had to be content with a single, measly Ivy Player of the Week award while three of her teammates garnered higher honors. Landau need pout no longer because she's now a member of the All-Hockey Team.