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Yardvark

JOHN HARVARD looked a bit miffed, or at least lonely, the other day. Snapshot-hungry tourists have taken to posing in front of the shantytown instead of the pseudo-founding father.

And that's not the only effect of the shantytown on the Yard. Students are voicing their concerns, just as the planners of the "open university" hoped.

Especially freshman. The activist Yard residents have taken to their own protest, with large signs hung outside their windows proclaiming, "No frisbees, No shantytowns!"

The green-grass-conscious University has long prohibited freshmen frisbee fanatics from frolicking in spring weather. But now, thanks to the "open university," the irate 'shmen are fighting back. If they can't have their frisbees on the smelly fertilizer, then divestment activists certainly can't have an ivory tower--taking up the space of thousands of frisbees but not helping anyone burn off calories.

And not only is it now popular to protest in the Yard but it is finally safe to walk there. The "open university" and its police fan club have provided guaranteed protection at all hours of the day and night. Before the advent of the wood and plastic bag huts, the Yard was patrolled infrequently by one cop car.

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Now that police are all over shantyland, they'll be around in the event that a non-protester is victimized. Or at least the crowd of neo-sixties activists can come to the aid of a late night wanderer in distress.

Too bad it took the oppression of 20 million South Africans for Harvard to beef up Yard security, for freshmen to lash out against unfair frisbee rules, and for tourists to stop cozying up to the Statue of Three Lies.

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