Among many archaeological discoveries in the Holy Land, one recent find bears special contemporary relevance. A team of American archaeologists, digging near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers in present-day Iraq, have just completed piecing together the papyrus fragments of several long-buried scrolls. Heralded as the oldest known samples of the written word, the scrolls are said to contain the transcribed record of an ancient tribunal formally entitled the "Celestial Select Committee Investigating the Fall."

Several high-ranking angels of both the Seraphim and Cherubim persuasions constituted its membership. It seems that the Committee was especially interested in the case of one Adam (no last name given) who had apparently been involved in the burglary of an apple from something called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (abbreviated in the text as the "TKGE"). It was not completely clear, however, whether this Adam had actually participated in the burglary or whether he had become an accomplice after the fact. The Celestial Committee seems to have been greatly concerned with clarifying this point.

What follows below is a short but important excerpt from the transcripts that have thus far been translated. It contains the testimony of one Eve, who, so the archaeologists claim, was a close female associate of Adam and therefore in one of the best positions to have knowledge of Adam's knowledge of the burglary of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. As will become clear in the text, however, Eve herself was deeply implicated in the burglary thus lending her testimony somewhat dubious credibility.

Seraph: Just for the record, will you state for the Committee your name, address and present occupation.

Eve: My name is Eve. I live in the Garden of Eden where I work as a woman.

Seraph: Thank you. Now Eve, before we get started with the detailed questions, I want to state to you, as I have to the other witnesses before you, the two general questions which have informed this phase of our hearings. Now these questions relate to the extent of Adam's involvement both before and after the burglary of the TKGE. Simply put, with a minimum of superfluous verbiage, these questions, admittedly somewhat rhetorical, are as follows: How much did Adam know, and when did he know it? Do you understand the questions?

Eve: Yes.

Seraph: Well, can you elaborate a bit?

Eve: I think I covered those issues in the statement which I submitted to the Committee. Do you want me to go through all that again now?

Seraph: Well, no. Let me ask you a question of somewhat narrower scope. How long have you known Adam?

Eve: You mean in the Biblical sense?

Seraph: No, I don't mean in the Biblical sense. I mean, how long have you been acquainted with Adam.

Eve: A little over a week.

Seraph: Will you please discuss the circumstances of how you came to be so acquainted.

Eve: Yes, but it's all a little hazy now. I sort of woke up one day next to this sleeping naked guy. He had a scar on his right side like he had just had gall stones removed or something. Anyway, he finally woke up, and when he saw me, boy, was he surprised!