Last Sunday, as I was morosely lounging around the Crimson newsroom figuring how to attack the problem of once again having faisely predicted the outcome of Harvard's football game, assistant director of sports information John Powers walked in.

"Hey pimp," he guffawed across the newsroom. "You must have really smelled like vomit this morning." Powers was referring to the true confessions of a week ago in which I revealed a marked inclination to drink and regurgitate after Dartmouth losses.

I did not drink this year, but only out of spite for Dartmouth. But nevertheless I was not in a cheery mood when Powers entered the picture.

"What do you want Powers?" I snapped back, hoping to discourage his critique of my prediction performance.

"Nothing," Powers retorted.

But Powers, for someone who wanted nothing, spent a long time obtaining it, staying for nearly an hour and deriding my predictions non-stop. But he was right--at least about the Dartmouth game--and I had little I could do except sit and take it.

But one thing he said in his gloating hour of torment stuck in my mind. And while I usually reject everything that comes out of his mouth on principle, this tidbit wouldn't go away.

He told me that my Harvard predictions were usually outrageous, and that whatever I picked for an outcome, Harvard would defy me. And he is right. I picked UMass. I picked Cornell. And then, with a change of heart, I picked Dartmouth. Not a good record. But what the hell....

The picks:

HARVARD-PENN--Which is the fluke, the Dartmouth game or the Cornell game? Harvard showed some of its dangerous old habits last week which undermined the teamwork of the earlier successes. Penn wants the Ivy title and wants it bad. Which means a lot since the game is in Philly. If Harvard allows Penn to grab the lead, look out--it could be a rout. Penn 28, Harvard 17.

YALE-DARTMOUTH--Some people are taking Dartmouth in this one, but I can't see it. The Green offense played over its head against the Crimson. Besides, after psyching themselves out of the gourds last week, the Greenies will be a little flat. The game is at Hanover so it could be tight. Yale 21, Dartmouth 20.

BROWN-PRINCETON--Tigers came back to earth last week. And while the boys from Ole Nassau are looking better, it won't be enough against a solid Brown squad. Anyway, I have a soft spot for the Bruins. Brown 30, Princeton 25.

CORNELL-COLUMBIA--Joke of the week. Big Red, Big Red, Big Red. Big Red. Cornell 35, Columbia 7.

CRIMSON-PENNSYLVANIAN--Another triumph for truth, justice, and the American way. Crimson 23, Pennsylvanian 2.

Last week: Two for four (.500). Sigh. Season: 13 for 27 (.482). Struggling.