After the burning of several large hotels about two years ago, the college authorities awoke to the fact that if one of the dormitories were to burn down, it would be an awful calamity. both from loss of life and tuition fees. Investigations of fire escapes for the dormitories were consequently undertaken. For a few weeks the students were treated to a daily exhibition of some patent way of sliding from the fourth story window without damage to bone or muscle. The patent canvass bag, the self-working pulley, and several other inventions were tried, but found to be impractical. Nevertheless, it was said, the faculty would spare no efforts or money to make the life of students in the dormitories secure. After a year's deliberation, it was decided that the college would undergo the expense of putting a firm staple in every bedroom above the first floor. Thereby were the lives of the students to be saved. "But how," some of our younger men of '88 may ask, "can we escape by means of a staple?" "Oh, friend, know once for all that this progressive university cannot carry out to the end all plans for your welfare, nor exercise a parential care over you, thus inculcating the first principles of independence of action. The lesson to be learned in this case is, that if you buy a rope about 150 feet long, and fasten it to the staple, you might escape, provided the rope did not burn before you reached the ground." What we wish to impress on everybody is, that if he neglects to obtain a rope after the generous advance of a staple, his blood is on his own head, in case of fire, and the college will refuse to pay damages.