This past week of romance saw an outer-library, 40-man fight, a snowball free-for-all that amounted to not much of a fight, and a persistent shuttle rider who put up too much of a fight. So much for love.

Forty Fisticuffs

9:05 p.m.—A fight reportedly broke out in front of Widener Library last Friday, Feb. 10, sending HUPD officers to the scene. But this brawl was no intimate affair—initial reports indicated that a crowd of 40 participated in the altercation. And the scuffle was likely not over books; Widener had closed at 7 p.m. that night. Responding officers found that the group had already dispersed.

The Case of Missing Beer

1:49 a.m.—Two early-morning roamers were spotted smuggling a case of beer into would-be dry freshman dorm Wigglesworth Hall. Callers alerted police to the booze-toting pair last Saturday, Feb. 11, but police were unable to locate them.

Paper Pushers

2:49 p.m.—Officers trekked to 180 Longwood Ave. in response to two individuals who allegedly seized computers from a building without proper paperwork last Saturday. But police determined that the individuals did, in fact, have the authorization to remove the computers after all.

Shuttle Clinger

1:17 a.m.—Saturday-night shuttle riders usually can’t wait to get off the crowded bus. But one “unwanted guest” just couldn’t let go. Police attempted to persuade the lingerer, who was itching to get somewhere the shuttle would not go, to dismount. Police asked him to hitch a ride in their cop car. The rider declined.

The Snickers are Safe

10:46 a.m.—Reports of a battered vending machine at 10 DeWolfe St. sent officers to the area last Sunday morning, Feb. 12. Police found its glass covering shattered, but none of its treats stolen. Fortunately for DeWolfe snackers, Harvard Real Estate Services is on it.

S’No Matter

1:16 p.m.—Non-consensual snowball pelting allegedly broke out in front of Radcliffe Yard last Monday. Reports of the snowballing concerned one caller, who alerted HUPD, but the alleged mischief-makers were nowhere to be found.

Hold the Line

9:27 a.m.—Two perturbed individuals called HUPD to report “annoying” phone calls last Tuesday, Valentine’s Day. A third annoyed caller notified police three hours later of an unwanted call. The police logs did not indicate the details of these Valentine’s-Day phone calls.

No Free Swim

6:54 p.m.—A swimmer breezed past the entrance of Blodgett Pool to take an evening dip without showing ID last Wednesday. Police were sent to track down the offender but did not find him or her.

Door Drop

7:06 p.m.—Officers reported to Quincy House in response to a report that someone had piggybacked into the dormitory. Uniformed response could not determine the piggybacker.

Computational Error

10:54 a.m.—A silver and black laptop, valued at $1,500 was reported stolen from the Mallinckrodt Laboratory last Friday, Feb. 10. A warrant was issued in this now-closed case. Five days later, two more laptop computers were swiped from 53 Church St., valuing a total of $5,200 in stolen items.