The Amateur Ethicist



Dear FM’s amateur ethicist, I’m pretty apathetic about sports, so at The Game I rooted for both teams. Just because



Dear FM’s amateur ethicist,

I’m pretty apathetic about sports, so at The Game I rooted for both teams. Just because I go to Harvard, should I have rooted for the Crimson alone?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Benedict Arnold believed in the right of Great Britain to control its lawful colony. He also, at one point, believed in the right of the colonists to secede from the British empire, given its tyrannical taxation and creepy obsession with tea, biscuits, and slaves.

Ergo, Harvard could be embodied by Benjamin Franklin, Yale could be embodied by King George, making you our “friend” Benedict. (I’d call your mother soon. You’ve not long for this world.) You think it doesn’t matter? Sure, the biscuits don’t matter—but the tea and the artificially constructed closed-market economy? Your backing of Yale supports the slave trade. Please don’t ever write in again.

Love,

FM’s ethicist